this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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My fellow Americans – this is Speaker Mike Johnson.

You've never seen fire and brimstone until you've gone head-to-head with Trump-hating socialists.

So you can imagine the immediate wrath I faced when I went on record supporting Donald J. Trump for President. I was just talking to my friend, Steve Scalise – he faced the same thing when he endorsed Trump too.

He and I agree: as strong Pro-Trump Conservatives, we’ve got to stick together.

That’s because the anti-Trump Media… Young radicals on college campuses… the holier-than-thou elites in Hollywood… Democrat Super PACs… Joe Biden’s army of megadonors… They are fully committed to destroying our movement and replacing EVERY LAST ONE OF US with a Liberal Democrat.

But wait, that’s not even the half of it. It gets worse:

  • Problem #1: We have TWO imminent Special Elections and Democrats committed more than five million dollars to install more Liberals.

  • Problem #2: House Democrats have forty million bucks stashed away to attack pro-Trump Conservatives like us.

  • Problem #3: Joe Biden just bragged about raising a million bucks in a SINGLE DAY attacking President Trump.

I cannot stress the urgency of the situation enough. Early voting is about to start in the first Special Election AND the Left's fundraising advantage grows by the minute…

So as one of my first moves of the election year, I’m teaming up with my fellow Louisianian, Steve Scalise, to set a goal of raising one million dollars between now and the end of the month.

I know, I know – that’s a big goal. I get that. But that’s as low as I could possibly make it to fully fund our campaign operations in every must-win swing state.

If we fail to hit it, the consequences would be unthinkable. We’d have no choice but to: 1) SCRAP our get-out-the-vote operations, 2) SLASH the budget for our ad campaigns, and 3) Throw our digital outreach plans IN THE TRASH CAN.

Nothing – and I mean NOTHING – would be worse for our plans to defend our razor-thin House Majority. That’s why I’m calling for reinforcements.

I know the economy is in bad shape under Joe Biden. So if that’s preventing you from pitching in $100 or $50 – I completely understand. But if you can afford JUST $10 or even $5, I would be grateful beyond measure.

I only ask everyone reading this to pitch for a few bucks or whatever you can afford.

When the stakes are this high, that’s what will be the difference between saving our Republican Majority and losing to the Trump-hating Democrats. So can I count on you to pitch in SOMETHING?

YES >> NO >>

Thanks for everything you do.

In liberty,
Mike Johnson (Speaker of the House)

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Anyone got a spam email from Pelosi to compare? Because I swear they are all written in the same tone

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I legitimately wish terrible things on Bernie for giving them my email address. The spam is relentless and no amount of hitting unsubscribe has worked.

First Yugoslavia and now my inbox, what a bastard

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

They got my phone number and I was receiving texts for years. Wouldn't be surprised if they start up again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but I feel like it starts up again as elections get closer, so here in 3 or 4 months ill probably get them 2-3x week

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Oh definitely, it gets worse

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just tell them you're a communist and that you'll never vote for them because they have blood on their hands and they take you off the list.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Sending "GIVE ME BACK MY DILDO" in all caps does the same thing. I've never seen an unsubscribe notification arrive that fast.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

We’d have no choice but to: 1) SCRAP our get-out-the-vote operations, 2) SLASH the budget for our ad campaigns, and 3) Throw our digital outreach plans IN THE TRASH CAN.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I get this spam from all sorts of random PACs:

Mayo, it's Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, and I'm reaching out because Colin Allred just officially became the Democratic nominee to run against and defeat Ted Cruz, and I need you to donate $25 to help him and Texas Majority win.

Let me tell you why your support is so important. The race to defeat Ted Cruz doesn't just concern Texans – it concerns the future of our democracy.

Our country can't handle six more years of Ted Cruz, his attacks on reproductive freedoms, his dismantling of our fundamental voting rights, and his endless self-centered antics. He's proven time and time again that his only loyalty is to himself, not the people he's supposed to represent.

It's time to send him packing. Not only because Texans deserve so much better – but because if Colin wins, Democrats are virtually guaranteed to retain control of the Senate, which is our last line of defense against the far right.

Colin can win this – Cruz won by just 2.6% of the vote in 2018. Election experts know it, and recent polling numbers show them TIED. But he'll need a massive movement of grassroots supporters behind him to help him reach voters, pull ahead, and win.

That starts today with you, Mayo. Colin needs to raise $65,000 by midnight tonight so that he can stay on track to reach enough voters and win in November. That's why I'm personally asking: Will you donate $25 or more right now to power Colin and Texas Majority's campaign to victory and defeat Ted Cruz? With your help, we can finally give Texans the leadership they deserve and protect the future of our democracy.

CHIP IN $25 CHIP IN $50 CHIP IN $100 CHIP IN OTHER

\

Thank you,

Chuck Schumer

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

the holier-than-thou elites

This always sends me because it's always right wing theocrat elites (and in general right wingers) that say this. Like, MF, you literally want to lord over people with your religion as the basis for law. They're just as condescending as any "adults in the room" lib.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Socialism is when you don't like the big wet boy and the more you dislike him the more socialister it is

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

When conservatives call Dems "socialist": chris-rocked

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago