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One of Kyle Rittenhouse's handlers discusses the world's largest nephew (twitter.com)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

40 comments fedilink hide all child comments

spoiler

Is anyone surprised that Kyle's far-right political handlers ensured this particular detail didn't make it into his book? (See photo) [https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKEtAA-aoAAWkuS?format=jpg&name=large - Rittenhouse being rejected by the marines for not even meeting the minimum "spell your name using only letters" score]

Regarding his online high school diploma, we had to force him to complete the four years of credits in just ten months, which he did using the "Google machine."

We invested significant effort to craft the image you witnessed during the trial. We outfitted him in new suits, arranged for his haircut every weekend during the trial, and dedicated over 200 hours to prepare him for direct and cross-examination. We employed the world's leading jury consultant and conducted extensive research through three mock trials to identify the ideal jurors and the most effective approach for his testimony.

Transforming a middle school dropout who was “angry at the world” with a history of violence and an unhealthy obsession with guns and killing into a respectable young man with a desire for higher education and a promising future was no easy feat.

It was a meticulously crafted facade, which we sincerely hoped he would grow into. Instead, he squandered a full scholarship to study any subject at any university in the country to become a divisive douchebag and antagonize black Americans on college campuses. Kyle failed to learn a single thing. He remains the same uneducated, arrogant, and antagonistic individual, incapable of telling the truth.

Now, he genuinely believes he is the show pony we created and has surrounded himself with sycophants who fuel his inflated ego because they prioritize their political agenda and Christian Nationalist worldview over his well-being.

Despite my efforts to guide him toward a better path in life, the allure of notoriety triumphed over the prospect of putting in the hard work of pursuing an education. Kyle is ill-equipped to offer advice to young people. I regret my role in shaping him into whatever he has become. If I had known what I know now about Kyle’s history, I wouldn’t have been involved.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 7 months ago (3 children)

https://twitter.com/SteakFrankhouse/status/1776046260723528136

This part is legitimately fucking insane to read, one of the most basic building blocks of the defense case was that there was supposedly no evidence or submitted testimony of Rittenhouse threatening anyone with his rifle during most of the night.

But now we find out that not only was there evidence of that, KYLE RITTENHOUSE TOOK A PHOTO OF HIMSELF POINTING THE RIFLE AT JOSEPH ROSENBAUM, THE FIRST MAN THAT HE SHOT AND MURDERED, AND SENT IT TO HIS FRIENDS. And this was literally just never submitted into the court case and no one found out about it, people went fucking nuts over the video of Rittenhouse saying hed like to shoot looters some weeks before his shooting spree, not being allowed into evidence on grounds of being prejudicial, and now one of this dipshits handlers just off handedly reveals that he fucking took evidence of his own intent to murder and sent it out to his friends, who I assume have to be as fucking demonic as he is to have kept it secret.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"Your honor, my client telling a bunch of people on video that he wanted to cross state lines and murder protestors with his rifle is devastating to my case."

"Sustained, evidence is dismissed as prejudicial."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago

In the revolutionary courts, "the defendant is a demon child who thirsts for human bloodshed unending" will be admissible evidence even if it makes the jury declare a guilty verdict on pure principle.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

“Your honor, the video of me repeatedly hacking grandma to death with an axe would be prejudicial to my case.”

“Sustained, and by the way case dismissed for lack of evidence.”

[–] [email protected] 38 points 7 months ago

He was just a simple boy with his emotional support AR-15.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Was this guy part of his legal team? You can’t lie for your client, and he just openly admitted to doing that? Not that he’s going to face any consequences, obviously.

Anyway, the judge wanted him acquitted and would have excluded this from evidence as well. If it came to it the defense would’ve just asked for a judgement of acquittal from the judge, which he would’ve given out like candy.

Because of double jeopardy even if Kyle just says “I’m guilty as fuck” he can’t be retried (that he was ever actually in jeopardy in the first place is pretty doubtful, but don’t count on the courts to side against a Nazi murderer), meaning the only method left to deal with him is through a mineshaft

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

What he claims is that he was not made aware of this before the verdict, which is like the most classic bullshit handwave but anyways.

It still is significant though because if this was included it brings the case from something that people can squint and reluctantly accept as kind of checking out, to being such absurd bullshit that several buildings would burn down in the backlash. The original case was still within limits of standard accepted legal bullshit maneuvering.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Tuition, books, fees, rent for an apartment, monthly living stipend. Literally everything was to be paid for by a very wealthy individual that wanted to see Kyle do something productive with his second chance.

Tossed it away.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Lmao he bought the bullshit.

You have to have open contempt for your supporters and shit on them while telling them if they were a real man they'd give you money.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Honestly I dunno if I'd say he "tossed it away" by becoming a grifter. That seems to me like just taking the path of least resistance to a paycheck.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 7 months ago

It's never not funny watching the right-wing machine try and assimilate someone from MAGA country only to watch them shit on the floor, roll around in it, and proceed to run and jump all over the furniture.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

This dude can eat shit, anyone without a dog brain could plainly see this guy went to that protest looking to kill somebody. If your instinct isn't "lock him up for life" but rather "I must defend this man!" then you are irredeemable

Separately lol at this guy "revealing" that Rittenhouse is a dumb hog as if we all didn't know that already

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Separately lol at this guy "revealing" that Rittenhouse is a dumb hog as if we all didn't know that already

I appreciate that he's a particularly humiliating degree of dumb and his dead-end career is doing a racist grift tour at universities he could never get into. If he comes to mine I'm going to heckle him by shouting "spell that word" whenever he whines about some degree he couldn't pass a single class for.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

“What are your best techniques for remembering how to breathe?”

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What if my instinct leans towards extrajudicial execution rather than imprisonment? 🤭

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Imprisonment can happen at the bottom of the ocean, technically

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Imprisoned in a crystal

[–] [email protected] 47 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Rittenhouse being rejected by the marines for not even meeting the minimum "spell your name using only letters" score

Is this a joke or just like a non robust CTE screening

[–] [email protected] 63 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I keep seeing people saying that him failing the ASVAB wasn't the cause of the permanent rejection. Supposedly he kept sending videos of himself field stripping and assembling an ar-15 to his recruiters and they interpreted it as a threat

[–] [email protected] 58 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

also fucking hilarious

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago

I'd wager it's either something like that or he was branded as a right-wing extremist which they've been wary of openly recruiting since the Iraq War. They do everything possible to get someone signing a contract and the ASVAB is like one day of studying things he should have learned by age 12.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (1 children)

https://www.asvabpracticetests.com/asvab-paragraph-comprehension-practice-test/

It's just barely a joke.

posted that on the wrong comment.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Let me give Kyle Rittenhouse a thematic apperception test I am normal and can be trusted to give marine candidates psychological exams

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Is that the one where the psychologist makes you look at a big book of penises and then brings in their colleagues and keeps showing you more penises while they all take notes and ask "does this one look like a penis? And this one? This one is a photo of my dog. Really? That one too?"?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ha. It could help us understand a lot about how he chooses to interpret situations and people with limited context. Positively, negatively, hostile, fearful.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

hostile, fearful

my money's on these two featuring heavily

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

Recruiters hate this one trick! Elon Musk pioneers brilliant new technique for preventing your children from dying overseas!

[–] [email protected] 43 points 7 months ago

Well David if you're so worried you can always go kill him - apparently you know how to get away with murder.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You could know enough about his history when he fucking murdered people for the sake of larping. Fuck this guy and his regret. The only people dumber than Rittenhouse in this situation are the people who tried to help him.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

lmao that they think it was their brilliant help that got him off, and not the fact that he’s the judge’s pet dog being tried by a Winston Payne-level prosecutor and facing a chud jury who would never have convicted no matter what.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

They literally believe that straight white men are under threat. It's sad, funny, and scary all at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

geordi-no Baby-Faced Nelson

geordi-yes Baby-Faced Failson

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Now I'm wondering, is this going to be forgotten in a week, or is this going to stick, or are more details about to come out? I keep seeing new deets on the reekenhouse almost anytime he's brought up, somebody should really put together a solid rationalwiki/prolewiki article on this.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I don't think there's a standard too low for right-wingers. My first encounter with Rittenhouse shit was with him as a police cadet. He pretended to be a firefighter and listed EMT certifications he never had, just to sound cool despite perennially looking like that 10 year-old on Xbox Live who screams the n-word any time they die. When that's the starting point for him, a child soldier who can't intellectually qualify as a marine pretending he wants to be a firefighter when he grows up, how much more pathetic can he get? He's purely an empty vessel for even more pathetic hogs who are too afraid of Antifa to go to that BLM protest and shoot one themselves.

At the same time I think the Turning Point USA circuit is the high point of his life. The world was handed to him on a silver platter and he couldn't manage to do anything with it. Kyle will die by age 30 choking on a can of beans because he didn't know you're supposed to open it first.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

https://twitter.com/SteakFrankhouse/status/1776046260723528136

The guy claims that Rittenhouse himself took photos of him pointing his rifle at the first man he murdered before the actual shooting, and sent them to friends on snapchat. If thats real I cannot imagine the shitstorm of lawsuits that are going to come down on him.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

a middle school dropout who was “angry at the world” with a history of violence and an unhealthy obsession with guns and killing

Oof lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I saw this thread earlier but can someone explain to me who this David Hancock guy is? He describes himself as one of the people defending Rittenhouse and curating his image, but his whole profile seems extremely anti-right wing and anti-Trump, not the type of person I'd expect to see on team Rittenhouse. Did he just have like a Peter Daou-like epiphany and recognize his mistake or something? Like who is this guy?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Im not 100%, but articles seem to semi-consistently refer to him as a "family spokesman" rather than exclusively Rittenhouses spokesman, so that might be a clue as to why he isnt a complete MAGA fascist and why he seems to have been the only person not related to Kyle by blood to have expectations in him.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Who would win, one Largest Nephew or thirty Tiniest Country Boys