this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Now listen here kid, there's about as many proletariat in the imperial core as there are virgins in a cat house!

The labor aristocrats of the first world will scarf up treats like a kid in a candy shop after close, and they'll step over a stiff in a shallow grave to do it!

Your goose will be cooked, served and eaten like it's Easter Dinner if you bet your boots on first world revolution sonny!

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Now look here sport! The global south must rise against the imperial core, see?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Nyeah, see, now what about alla these land lords? Why I aughtta...

edit: I realize I'm just doing three stooges

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ehhhh they're not that different. Keep cooking.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

nyuck nyuck nyuck, ya gotta go out to the provinces, see, and learn from the peasants :jabs you in your eyes:

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Folks! The labor aristocracy? They're no good! More and more people are saying it. The workers in the imperial core, many fine big strong workers, have been bourgeoisified by the superexploitation of the third world proletariat! People say to me, President Trump, how do we identify the primary contradictions? I'll tell you! It's the contradiction of the colonizer and the colonized, only a revolution of the Global South can make communism great again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Listen here chap! I don't know what kinda cow and pony show you're running, but that ain't no kind of old-timey talk I know see!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

The lying mainstream media wants you to believe I can't talk like an old-timey newspaper guy, but folks? They don't want me to tell you this - they told me not to say it - but I'm actually the best at talking like an old-timey newspaper guy. No one has ever talked as good as me!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So a Maoist but they talk like a Troksyist?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Alright boyos, doozies going down so it's up to old Merrick Lapland to set you straight. I'm about to cast some pearls of wisdom before you swine so get the cotton balls out of your ears!

Lads, it's time for some sport theory. First up, we've got old V.I. Lenin, he's sitting up in that stuffy casket hope he's got a Radiola in there! What's he thinking? "Hey sonny let me out of this box I'm dying for a shave and a shoe shine!"

Then you've got a fellow like Woody Wilson! He was in the White House thinking "Ring-a-ding-ding we need all these ethnostates, 23 skidoo!" Now Woody was a good egg so he couldn't beg off the old ball and chain.

After Lenny took the big train to Vladivostok old Joe Stalin became king of Russia! He made a deal with the great old one Tstagua(?) saying to the horrible slug Gods "hey sonny that's a mighty fine cigar - I'll send old Putin to the USA to brainwash the media, I'll start with Mark Thurnow(?).

Well that and two bits will get you the Sear's catalogue if you catch my drift. Now, the lost continent of Hyperborea, that's a real corker! Gadzooks! Sonny where'd my continent go and how come my genes have memories?

A multi-generational Soviet plot to bugger Uncle Sam with the help of a sleeping undead horror that's the bees knees! A knee-slapper, old Karl Marx he must be hotsy-totsy! That's the cat's pyjamas.

Say what do you think they gabbed about when Snuffy Smith met Sinclair Lewis? I bet it went a little something like this: "Say Babbitt if you're going to have sex with my daughter you better use a prophylactic you old pervert!"

Extry, Extry, read all about it!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago