chapotraphouse

Alright boyos, doozies going down so it's up to old Merrick Lapland to set you straight. I'm about to cast some pearls of wisdom before you swine so get the cotton balls out of your ears!

Lads, it's time for some sport theory. First up, we've got old V.I. Lenin, he's sitting up in that stuffy casket hope he's got a Radiola in there! What's he thinking? "Hey sonny let me out of this box I'm dying for a shave and a shoe shine!"

Then you've got a fellow like Woody Wilson! He was in the White House thinking "Ring-a-ding-ding we need all these ethnostates, 23 skidoo!" Now Woody was a good egg so he couldn't beg off the old ball and chain.

After Lenny took the big train to Vladivostok old Joe Stalin became king of Russia! He made a deal with the great old one Tstagua(?) saying to the horrible slug Gods "hey sonny that's a mighty fine cigar - I'll send old Putin to the USA to brainwash the media, I'll start with Mark Thurnow(?).

Well that and two bits will get you the Sear's catalogue if you catch my drift. Now, the lost continent of Hyperborea, that's a real corker! Gadzooks! Sonny where'd my continent go and how come my genes have memories?

A multi-generational Soviet plot to bugger Uncle Sam with the help of a sleeping undead horror that's the bees knees! A knee-slapper, old Karl Marx he must be hotsy-totsy! That's the cat's pyjamas.

Say what do you think they gabbed about when Snuffy Smith met Sinclair Lewis? I bet it went a little something like this: "Say Babbitt if you're going to have sex with my daughter you better use a prophylactic you old pervert!"

Extry, Extry, read all about it!