this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I want to get hired to write and direct a movie.

It will be about drop bears teaming up with emus to conquer Australia.

The entire cast will be non-Australian, doing bad aussie accents. There will be no cgi, just stuffed koala-like creatures used via stop motion, and the emus will be a guy in a feather suit using his hand as the head of the bird.

If anyone has a connection to a very stoned producer, tell them there's the pitch of the century waiting on their funding.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I volunteer as Emu.

I'm lanky, and if I bend over a bit, I can pass as a large, flightless bird in silhouette.

This is the role I was born to play.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Fuck, that sounds awesome... I'll put on a furry-suit and fall out of a tree on some 'unsuspecting' cunt below, for sure

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

There will be so much cunt spread in the film, it will get an x rating

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If unicorse makes a cameo as an emu I am soo in.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Done, assuming we don't get sued into oblivion. Otherwise, it will have to be monocorse, and have different colors.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Yeah it's cool, it's the little ones you gotta watch out for.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

They might look a little scary but they prey on the really dangerous locals, so it’s good to have one or two around the house

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Creepy and anatomically correct are sometimes at odds

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Gotta keep the flies away somehow.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

"Aww such a cute baby spooder" --Australians, probably

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Gregor Samsa just trying to make his bed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Oh don't worry mate, that's just a 10 legged dog

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Reminds me of Enemy's end scene: