this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Two months from now:

LifeWise pastor arrested for child molestation. Says Biden made him do it.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Local group Concerned Matriarchs LLC is now holding a prayer vigil to get the gay communist demon out of the pastor's penis, who they claim had been infected when accidentally partaking in liberal art.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Concerned Matriarchs LLC spokesperson says female staff are not pedophiles for having sex with underage boys in order the make them straight.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I just wouldn't even be surprised anymore.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Right? wtf is in the water?!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

In Ohio? Literally everything. Our rivers led to Nixon of all people creating the EPA.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago

Christians always seem to advocate for public prayer, going fully against the explicit quote by Jesus in their holy book that specifically instructs them not to pray in public, or in groups. He says word for word how they are supposed to pray, twice...once in Matthew, once in Luke. In Matthew, he even tells them to go do it secretly in a quiet place like the innermost room of their home so no one else sees it.

These dominionists are such assholes.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

What a fucking cesspool

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

fucking religion, always a driving force for good

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

What other hope do we have,” Penton said, “but to ~~inject the word of God into the hearts of~~ brainwash the next generation?”

-ftfy

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Not that I want this nation to turn into a theocracy, but when it does, I look forward to the Great Sectarian Wars.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Have any one of these chucklefucks asked God if he even wants to be 'back in' public schools?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Why yes, of course they have! It turns out god conveniently wants all the same things they want and hates all the same people they hate! Isn't it a miracle?

Oh, and he wants money.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

I just love how they claim it's not state sponsored. While anyone who doesn't participate doesn't continue classes. They go to the library until the Christian kids come back. The entire school day is structured around their "off-site" prayer.