this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
745 points (98.9% liked)

internet funeral

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Stephen Hawking threw a cocktail party for time travelers from the future.

No one showed up.

What kind of asshole time travelers wouldn't want to hang out with Stephen Hawking?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I dunno, he kind of sounds like he was an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine never getting to a future where traveling back in time is possible because the consequences of our actions today made it impossible to have a future.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Hitler asked himself this very question

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

1st rule of time travel: never try to kill Hitler

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Unless it was actually you that killed Hitler then set is up as a suicide. Then for the love of god, kill Hitler.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is great, thanks for sharing it. I especially liked:

Amen, SilverFox316. Although, point of order, issues relating to early 1900s Vienna should really go in that forum, not here. This has been a recurring problem on this forum.

Definitely add a touch of realism.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It’s either A) not bad enough to send anyone back in time to stop it B) so bad no one in the future can stop it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You killed all of Humanity and now no one can invent time travel bad

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I want to see a movie where Temporal Agents have to protect Hitler from various time traveling assassins in order to preserve the timeline.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This is a fun spin on the Loki series idea.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Didn't Doctor Who do that once?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah basically the only acceptable thing to do was to travel back in time to just after they've committed their atrocities and then torture them for their crimes.

Then basically the doctor points out that this is stupid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Omg is this an advert for Asimov's robots series. I love

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Underrated time travel novel, 'The Big Time' by Fritz Leiber.

'The Law of Conservation of Reality.' Basically, if you go back into the past and shoot Hitler, he'll only stay dead for a few hours. When he comes back to life he'll remember feeling really sick, and a week later won't even remember that. It takes an army doing millions of changes over thousands of years to make even a slight change to the time line.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Either:

A) It’s not possible and therefore is never invented (most likely based on what we know so far. Traveling forward is easy, just go fast).

B) There is such severe authority over it that it is never allowed to happen because things would get fucked up.

C) They do it in a way that no one from the past ever finds out, preventing paradoxes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I first thought it was an Oscars award 💀

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Of no one stopped Hitler, then.... Pretty bad.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

...or they did and we live in the alternate timeline

...or they could not because humanity would face an extinction event in the future without the current history

...or they tried, and the Force of Time was such that every attempt fails: agents get heart attacks, weapons misfire, time machines explode

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Synecdoche, New York.