this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Transfem

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"Wow is all I can say. We can talk tomorrow. I love you."

Spaces and all. (edit: the spaces were like 5 and exaggerated, I forgot markdown formatted them out)

She came to me with a business proposition, so I had to tell her sooner than later if she was being serious and wanted to have a long term business relationship.

I told her how I felt, that my partner is supportive, that I've been on HRT. Showed her selfies over the years and how miserable I was, contrasted with the natural smile genderbent selfies.

I know it's a lot to take in, but I'm a bit nervous, and her response doesn't inspire confidence.

I have to respect her and give her time to process, but I know she is starting from a transphobic position, and she probably wants to go vomit now.

She kicked me out of the house because I was platonically hanging out with an effeminate male and screamed at me about how she couldn't believe I would let that thing into her house, so I know exactly how she feels about it all.

If she gets all mad and such I don't mind going full no contact, as that has already happened multiple times between us, but is it too much an ask to just be accepted?

I'm the same person I always was, just with a lot more mental clarity, a happier disposition, and eventually I'm going to be a much more feminine looking person.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

All I can truly say is you deserve love and acceptance. If she's not willing to give you those things then she doesn't deserve to have a wonderful daughter like you. You sound like you've prepared yourself for the worst, but make sure to talk lots to your partner, your therapist if you have one and your friends about it. Bottling this up inside can be agonizing and deal serious long term damage.

I know that having gone no contact before makes you feel a bit emotionally shielded from her. I know it did for me when I cut my mom out. But her being your mom gives her a lot of power to heal or to harm you. So be careful when dealing with her, and always put your own emotional wellbeing first.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Thank you for the support and reminder

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope that it goes well

Love and support trans-heart

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Thank you for the love and support

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

cishet cracker here so I've never had to go through anything like coming out but I definitely think it's a good sign that she ended with "I love you." She's shocked definitely but I would just try to be calm and see how it goes when you talk more, ya know? People don't usually say they love people they're angry with.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I’m trying to stay calm. I realized a little bit ago I was getting a stress headache from all this, which sounds really crummy, but it was a nice reminder that my stress and anxiety levels have been so low for the first time in forever that I can actually TELL that I’m stressed and FEEL that it’s affecting me instead of just lashing out in confusion like a Pokémon.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I’m doing well considering, thank you 💕

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

GOOD LUCK trans-heart

I had to cut off my own parents because of this, but, I hope it goes far better for you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I’m sorry to hear you had to go no contact. I hope you are well now