this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wait that's not Jennifer Lawrence, that's Iron Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck who united the German states under Prussian rule.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but did you actually say that? Like aloud?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I heard if you say it 3 times with the lights off while staring into a mirror he'll appear behind you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'd try that, but what do you feed a 19th century Prussian chancellor? I just don't think I have the resources to properly care for such a creature 🤷

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What you need is a few good taters. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Give it to us raw and wriggling. You keep nasty chips!*

*The statements of Gollum do not reflect the opinions of Viking_Hippie who, if anything, likes chips far too much.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

I still find it curious how a South American tuber ends up in a pseudo-medieval alternate European magical land.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I dare you to try it!

[–] [email protected] 49 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is where John Oliver would jump in to say: except that's not who this is bc one of them is fake.

And then continue with: except that's a lie bc actually, two are fake!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Never trust a man with two first names.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What about three first names? Does the third one cancel out the second, or is the effect cumulative?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"Von" isn't a first name, it's German for of/from. Same with the Dutch "Van", the Italian "da", the French "de" (though that one might mean "the ", I'm not sure) and several other examples from different languages

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

The Thomas family in my town always names their first son Thomas.

Thomas Thomas the fifth is the most recent heir to this sobriquet.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

It took me a minute, they really resemble each other pretty closely. She probably gets confused with Bismarck alot. I bet people are telling her all the time, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Otto von Bismarck?" and everytime she has to pretend like it's the first time she's ever heard that and thank them for the compliment, but inside she's like, "Goddamnit."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

If that's true why hasn't Nicholas Cage stolen her?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

No, those are 3 paintings and one photo of Otto von Bismarck, you silly Billy!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

What if someone takes a picture of a painting? (It's a strange scenario, I know.)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Still not a photo of Bismarck but a photo of a painting

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

𝕯𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝕶𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖇 𝖏𝖊𝖙𝖟𝖙 𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖚𝖒 𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖐 𝕯𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

You should have put at least one actual picture of Otto Von Bismarck alongside these pictures of Jennifer Lawrence to fool us.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that's not your girl

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Also, not all of them are photos.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A photo of a painting is still a photo

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Well, a photo of painting is clearly NOT a photo of Jennifer Lawrence.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bismarck had a plan. Bismarck always had a plan

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Found the Extra History viewer!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Why let a youtube reference get in the way of a good crusade?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Still would.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Actually it's the hunter from Jumanji

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Pickelhaube is best haube

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Not enough people recognize that the guy who directly enabled two world wars deserves a punch in the face

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What? How? Many say had Bismarck lived long enough, he could have prevented the First World War. He orchestrated the Scramble for Africa to prevent another war of European empires with each other. But that being said, he could have prevented a war at the expense of non-European nations. Bismarck is a boon for Europe but not for the rest of the world.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Leaving aside for the moment his role in colonialism, because only white people matter to WW1 and 2 apparently and fighting over African and Asian colonies had nothing to do with it, he hated democracy and directly enabled the German obsession with totalitarianism. Obviously the Emperors had their own hands in that, but let's be real, they were idiots.

And, honestly, it's not real complicated to note that without Germany and the network of alliances he helped create you don't get two world wars started by Germany.

Now, sure, as a smart person he knew he had to maintain the alliance with Russia to have a balance of power, unlike Wilhelm Jr, but his obsession with top down control, based on his own competence, is what put the reins of ultimate power into the hands of two blithering, monstrous and monstrously arrogant morons.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Hmm.... I see where you're coming from. But it is reductionist to say Bismarck's idea of creating a complex web of alliances to prevent another war ironically led to the two world wars. Remember that this complex system of alliance is meant to deter one empire declaring war to another. It was 19th century's deterrence model as is nuclear deterrence in 20th century to today. These two deterrence models are meant to... well... deter. Many systems designed are meant to work-- until it doesn't. The British intelligence at the time (incorrectly) predicted that the assassination of Franz Ferdinand would not lead to a major war.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Bismarck bit Mark until Mark bit Bismarck

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Ahhh uncle Otto. We always just called him Von he hated it but was a good sport.