this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just assumed this was how Italians did capital punishment.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You get a choice: Death by cheese, death by pasta, or death by marinara

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is death by pasta being hanged?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, you're whipped to death a cat o' nine tails made of cooked spaghetti

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Half cooked spaghetti would be more durable and effective.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You got a genuine chuckle out of me. Life's been a bit unkind lately, so thank you.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It just works.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I wonder what the protocol is for the cheese. Like, how much do you salvage? You'll obviously want to save as much as possible without grossing out customers. Maybe you let the family eat the cheese most responsible for the death, as a kind of scapecheese? Or you do a reverse firing squad kind of deal where the cheeses are cleaned and randomized to share the blame.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

He should have just kept opening his inventory to eat them as the fell. What a noob.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Dovahkin, on a nearby mountain top: "Uh oh! Overencumbered. Hmmm.... I don't think I need all these wheels of cheese now that I have 30 million health potions. Off you go!"

Meanwhile

Italian man: "I sure hope I don't get crushed under the weight of thousands of falling cheese wheels, today."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

He knew the risks.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

As much as this is tragic, I can't help but think about that episode of TNG when Worf got hit by a falling barrel and nearly died.

https://media.tenor.com/XbPBguZizYkAAAAd/worf-the-next-generation.gif

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Not very gouda.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I can't even imagine what your last sight would be like

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

"Do you think they got a new shipment of cheese wheels in the corner market today?"

"Look. This is every cheese wheel in the game."

"Townton is so beautiful this time of day."

insane laugh

/haver

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The fate of one of the many unnamed NPC residents of Townton