this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
869 points (99.5% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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Posts in this community must be of property (inside or out) listed for sale which contains a terrible element. “Terrible” can refer to:

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Imagine being drunk as shit and instead of going to the toilet you just move the mattress aside and go just straight shitting diarrhea down into your bathtub.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My car was stolen earlier and yet this is the worst thing to happen to me today. I hate it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Aw man, what kind of car? Hyundai?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seat Leon. 18 months old. FML.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn that's a sweet car, my condolences. A friend of mines Octavia RS got stolen a couple months ago.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I know this is an old comment, but what happened with the car? Did insurance pay for it?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My partner went all “Burt Macklin, FBI” and paid £60 to activate the Seat app. You can honk the horn remotely from the app so Burt Macklin kept doing it at night to piss the thieves off. It just so happened that they hadn’t turned the GPS off when the car turned on we could track it. It was taken to a super dodgy estate of car garages about 10 mins away from us. We called the police and told them exactly where our car was - we weren’t overly impressed by the police response at this point so my partner caught an Uber down to meet the police (who were just wondering around aimlessly). My partner showed them the app, showed them the map and then honked the horn for them, where it beeped from the other side of the shutter. Then the police got a warrant, the garage owner came down, opened up and cooperated. He “had no idea” it was stolen, despite the clearly visible tape stuck on the number plate to alter the registration. He wasn’t arrested but I assume he’ll be charged with handling stolen goods if he doesn’t give up the name of the person who brought it to him. He handed over the keys and the police took it in for forensics to be done on the tape. They finished with it yesterday. Tomorrow the insurance are collecting it and changing the locks and replacing the keys. Then we’ll get it back!

The funniest part of the whole thing is what it was doing in the garage… literally 3 months after I got it I stupidly scraped the rear passenger side. It’s a motability car (I swap my disability benefits for a car on this scheme, a bit like a lease) and that damage would have meant I didn’t get the “good condition bonus” of £350 when I get my next car in 18 months. The thieves had bought it in to get the scratches fixed and the garage owner had started the job. The insurance will fix the damage when they replace the locks, all covered by the £100 excess I paid for the cover car! It was still a massive ball ache, and they stole other stuff from the car, but it could have been a lot worse!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems like my asking was in perfect timing. What a roller coaster! Glad you are getting your car back.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It was weird timing. And thank you!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I don’t know why, but you assuming it was a Hyundai fuckin cracked me up haha

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

You know you don't have to say everything you think, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I bow to you words of wisdom or experience. I don't know yet.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You've got that special something. I can't quite put my finger on it, or in it, but I know it's somehow related to how humans made it this far.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hear that I'm special all the time.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Pissing into a plastic bag, throwing it in the shower like a water balloon.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The beyond being mould, I presume.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don’t forget mildew and wood rot!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And you get to sleep in moist blankets...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Moistness wouldn't be my only concern. I hope they put the toilet lid down before flushing everery time...

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

In Germany we call it Wohnklo (live-in loo). Used to be a joke but I guess these days it's just reality.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

And we thought the double-decker couch was a monstrosity.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Like a London sublet for £500 a month in Zone 3.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

$2500/month in Manhattan, opening bid. 2 months up front plus last month plus 2 months as security deposit. Must show 4x rent as minimum income.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s the way the London Underground is split up, in kinda circles from the centre point. Zone 1 is a fairly small area of central London, zone 2 is a little further out etc. Zone 3 is the closest most people could possibly afford to live. My sister lives in zone 5 and works in Westminster. It’s about a 45 min commute on the tube.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey that's not too bad! I was in Zone 3 with a roughly 60 min commute, including walking times to and from the station. Actual train time was probably 35 minutes on the Central line.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, she’s lucky there’s a fast train that cuts travel time right down. And she can almost see the station from her flat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For £500 that's a shared bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Ain't that the sad truth.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Someone please tell me that shelving unit isn’t structural.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

It looks pretty damn structural 💀

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Looks like a gap between the top of it and the bed and a post behind it, so I don't think it is.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Looks like the bed has a leg behind it fortunately. I totally had the same thought at first though.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't stop imagining a TV screen beside the shower, just outside the photo...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Some family friends of ours have a built in bathroom tv. It’s actually pretty cool!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Heh that was in the man's bathroom in a home improvement episode, before smartphones that was the dream..so you didn't have to read shampoo bottles or remember your Mad magazine.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Mount a TV to the wall, get a hot plate and a mini fridge and you’re good to go!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's not practical, but it does look cozy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A water slide, if you will

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

$2200/mo. First, last, and security deposit required

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to live near bed bath and beyond

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

What if... what if we slept on the bathroom loft together? 👉👈🥺

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's some fancy ass jail cell

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

When you're in the tub and it starts raining on you because your roommate peed the bed.

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