this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Put it in a pressurized hamster bubble suit and send it out like a soccer ball.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Sent it off with one powerful friendship kick to start their epic survival adventure.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Send it off with one powerful friendship kick to start their epic survival adventure.

I never expected to read these words in that order. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

"friendship kick" - channel inner Messi

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

where water and food are unavailable and the only thing that can help you is miles away and possibly sleeping

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (3 children)

On Mars you wouldn't be able to have cabinets tall enough so that your cat can't jump on them

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The cabinet could be 20 feet tall and they'd still figure out how to get up there.

My parents have 4 cats and these ones are a lot different than all of the other cats we've had over the decades. My parents have a wall mounted cabinet where the bottom portion is about 5 feet off the ground and the top of it is about 8 feet off the ground. There's about 6-9" between the top and the ceiling, and various decorations up there.. The kitchen table is about a foot in front of it, at normal height, about 3-4 feet from the ground.

One day I noticed one of the cats was on top of the cabinet! That's a good 6 foot jump at a steep angle (100°, 110°? I suck at Trig) and she didn't move a single decoration!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

An 8 foot leap is no big deal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Vertically it is. That's about 6-8x their body length.

Horizontally it's nothing special.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I wonder what the maximum size is of a celestial body which a cat could jump with escape velocity

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I got bored and was curious myself.

Assuming a cat can jump just over 2m (record is around 7' apparently) then you have a launch velocity of around 6.5m/s. Plugging this in as an escape velocity works out to around a 1-2km diameter asteroid. Not huge, but not bad for a small animal.

My error bars are quite large, so it's only an order of magnitude calculation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Yeah thats not bad, assuming the asteroid is a perfect sphere, that comes out to a surface area of 12km^2^ for an interstellar cat colony that can move into orbit at will.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

...same as earth if your cats are siamese...

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (14 children)

Quick reminder: you SPCA will tell you that a cat living 100% indoors will ensure Kitty and the surrounding bird population are happier for many years longer.

"He rarely goes out" is the worst setting.

Your car isn't somehow special either.

It used to be double. DOUBLE! now it's even worse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There are no birds on mars

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Damn cats got em all

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Doorknob… Parakeet… Spatula…!

Sorry. Couldn’t find the right words to respond to this, so… 🫣

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Holds up spork

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

instead of responding to the message - cats live longer indoors - you responded with garbage. indicating the value of your premise.

Huzzah, I found the correct words to respond to this. Have a nice day.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Holy shit, is this the reason of "can't decide if want to be here or there, so I must scream", not the wish to be on the other side but the very door itself?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I believe so. Cats' brains seem to be unable to deal with closed doors, in my experience. If you add a passage, like a cat's door to the door, then it's fine.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

This explains so much. If you see it from this perspective it makes perfect sense

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Well spotted. 😅

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is why my cat lives safely indoors.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Because you're on Mars? Exciting! How is it?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Honestly like a 4/10. Would be better without the Martians and mutants running amok.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If you moved to Mars and are upset because of the Martians there, then you're the problem.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

You know those equatorial martians aren’t sending their best, right?

Make Martian Poles Great Again

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

At least the gate to hell is closed.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

The damned cat keeps scratching at the seal, though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Have you tried introducing them to your cat?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Well it ain't the kind of place to raise your kids

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

...in fact, it's chilly as heck...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

The blue titties are gold!

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