this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
103 points (100.0% liked)

the_dunk_tank

15681 readers
225 users here now

It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this.

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Its sun, so dogshit sources, but starmer is a genocidal knight so fuck him.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago (7 children)

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FUCKING "NINJA SWORD", ninja did not have standardized equipment or tactics or leadership. They were assassins and spies, they would have no use or legal cover story to carry a sword and would be immediately caught.

a KATANA is a SAMURAI SWORD you fucking SWORD PHILLISTINES

why? BECAUSE IT WAS USED EXCLUSIVELY BY SAMURAI

they would EXECUTE YOU for OWNING A SWORD if you were not a samurai

Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

If it didn't kill in 1 stroke, it was a SHIT SWORD

and it was PERFECTLY LEGAL because JUST LIKE EURO KNIGHTS the samurai were WARLORD KILLER MAFIOSOS who survived by PILLAGE AND OPRESSION

you idiot anglos INVENTED the term SAMURAI SWORD because your IDIOT ICE MUTANT MOUTHS can't pronounce something as simple as "KA-TA-NA" so USE YOUR OWN WORDS IDIOT BRITS

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

Wikipedia...

Tsujigiri

Tsujigiri (辻斬り or 辻斬, literally "crossroads killing") is a Japanese term for a practice when a samurai, after receiving a new katana or developing a new fighting style or weapon, tests its effectiveness by attacking a human opponent, usually a random defenseless passer-by, in many cases during nighttime. The practitioners themselves are also referred to as tsujigiri.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This would be technically illegal as far as I know but who da fuck is gonna snitch since the victim would die and the samurai aren't gonna turn themselves in. Samurai were allowed to legally strike down peasants who dishonored them but I think they had to argue this in a court. Not that the court would have any reason to side with said peasant, but they at least at the illusion of law and order

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

they at least at the illusion of law and order

The song remains the same.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sword attacks were not the only possible application of this act. In a variation named tsuji-nage (辻投げ, "crossroads throwing"), the samurai would attack the passerby with jujutsu in order to test his own techniques or indulge in alive practice.[3] This must not be mistaken with tsuji-zumo, unsanctioned sumo bouts hosted in the street between willing participants.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

I mean its sun, so all verbiage is subject to clickbait. But let your rage be pure ukkk

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Excuse me, ninja use traditional peasant and laborer tools as weapons.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No they use saurikens and nunchuks and smoke bombs and poison darts. I’ve seen footage on me tellie

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

maw oi! got a loisence for those farming implements?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago

Chainsaw is a ninja weapon for 21st century, katanas - right out

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He knows. The ban also includes scythes, hoes, fertilizer, grain silos, cattle, motorized transportation, and an "outdoors lifestyle".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

mfw I'm about to shank some fools with masonry equipment

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

YES ninja were not standardized, 'ninja sword' is like saying 'gangster rifle', a criminal/terrorist/assassin will use whatever they have to accomplish their goal, they usually can't or don't build their own weapons. they don't have uniforms and tables of equipment like a military does.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I welcome the Tokugawa Clan's efforts, and I encourage them to go further.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

When you put it that way, it sounds like they're trying to do a sword hunt in 2024.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

you shouldn't be able to claim the title 'Sir' if you're not willing to engage in trial by sword duel

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Walking in knighting ceremony like:

Got a permit for that sword mate? I know you are a king but the law is the law, sir, please follow me.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

So even after they ban guns, they'll still go after knives. funny-clown-hammer

Maybe...maybe they should look at the root issues of why there is an increase of violence. But that means investing in housing and education, and stop tearing up the social programs that help people meet their basic needs. Might have to cut back on arming nazis elsewhere.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

Some British weeaboo is constructing a Shinzo Abe contraption "ninja sword" as we speak. The Sun readers will not stop him as they are not versed in the way of the blade.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They are disarming the proletariat because they know how hard we have all been studying the blade. The sword is the true worker's symbol of liberation. Only a multi-thousand-times folded blade can cleanly slice through the chains of oppression.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Bullshit.

The humble yet mighty spear is the symbol of liberation for the workers and peasants through out history since time immemorial.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Swords are bourgeoisie and spears are proletariat, and also in every HEMA sword-spear matchup the spear wins.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

And against the feudal SWAT shitlords known as knights in all their tin can glory, all a sword can do against them is maybe give them tinnitus and a strained neck or some light bruises.

A spear and a good running start will turn a knight into a fresh can of spam.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If your sword breaks, you have a broken sword.

If your spear breaks, you have a staff!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I stand corrected - I must begin studying the spear.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

How about a fookin' gun with a bayonet now... that's apt to industrial capitalism...

Now, if we took makeshift drones and cellphones, and a bit of kitchen material... to adapt to the modern age...

Hmmm.... adventure-time fedposting

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

This is the funniest reenactment of the sword hunt imaginable.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Genuine uncle/nephew tragedy/farce historical materialist seal of approval

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Are they trying to lose to the Tories again?

They'll never win without the Ninja-weeaboo vote.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I legit think labor lurch to the right is consequences of them seeing 460 seats in parliament in polls and going:

we can't win by that much, we have to have thin margin, and go as far right as possible until polls show us in 50 50 split. "Looking at the audience like the price is right contestants" type of deal

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We have finally found an industry small enough not to be able to buy him off.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Some unknown turkish steel corpo right now meow-shining

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago

nerd actually this is a samurai sword officer, not a ninja sword

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

There had been that Weapons Law, for a start. Weapons were involved in so many crimes that, Swing reasoned, reducing the number of weapons had to reduce the crime rate.

Vimes wondered if he'd sat up in bed in the middle of the night and hugged himself when he'd dreamed that one up. Confiscate all weapons, and crime would go down. It made sense. It would have worked, too, if only there had been enough coppers - say, three per citizen.

Amazingly, quite a few weapons were handed in. The flaw, though, was one that had somehow managed to escape Swing, and it was this: criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job. They had no particular interest in making the streets safer for anyone except themselves. And they couldn't believe what was happening. It was like Hogswatch every day.

Night Watch, Terry Pratchett

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The funniest thing is, the kindsa swords he wants to ban are already banned under the offensive weapons act.

Like, they've been illegal since 1988, in 2019 the act was amended to include the sorts of impractical wall hangers I've heard people online describe as "mall ninja shit".

Starmer's a lawyer, he should know this.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I like how gun control in the UK has basically turned it into Dune, but only for crime.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I'm American so I must ask. Are ninja edits still legal?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Mall ninjas in shambles.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I love the Keir Starmer impression bits they do on Trashfuture and I don't know even if they could have thought up a funnier bit than this quote

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Okay, I'll bite. How hard is it to get a katana in the UK?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You just walk around and a guy with a truck will drive by, stop and presents his wares, like in resident evil

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

WOT ARE YEW BOYIN MATE

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Ah yes, I'm sure its the katanas, swords and knives the problem, definitely not the increase in cost of living and the stagnant wages which causing folk to choose between heating and eating. desolate

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Wrong move, bring back swordtraining in school and arm every child with their choice of blade and optional buckler

load more comments
view more: next ›