this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this.

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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Hog out or log out (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
37 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

We love our mods, don't we folks?

https://lemm.ee/comment/3622601

top 37 comments
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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lot of people don't seem to understand that "post hog" is a mocking take on "post tits" used by the right to demean and harass women who out themselves in any given community because they used to have the attitude "there are no women on the internet".

Nobody actually wants them to post their dick. Although it would be extremely fucking funny if they did. There's absolutely nothing wrong with punching up in this way and anyone that doesn't understand there is a difference between punching down and punching up can fuck right off.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

we've had a few people post hog on hexbear, top 5 least favorite moderation experience on the site

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Make them write their username on the trunk to prove it's not just one they grabbed online.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

trunk

A man is in a tragic accident and awakens in the hospital. The doctor and nurse are there and after the basic checks the doctor pulls up a chair.

"I have some terrible news, sir. You were in a terrible accident and you lost your penis."

The man is shocked, and starts to weep, but the doctor continues.

"Since you were unconscious, we did put a replacement in place for you. The only problem is that all we could find in such short notice was a baby elephant trunk."

The man checks it out and is satisfied with the replacement. He's released from the hospital a few days later and returns to his life.

A few weeks later he has his first date since the accident. He's having a nice conversation with his date when he hears the distinct sound of his pants zipper slowly opening. He blushes, hoping his date didn't hear the noise.

A few moment later the end of the baby elephant trunk that is his penis snakes over the edge of the table, snuffing and tapping, searching over the table cloth. His date notices and watches, eyes wide.

Suddenly, it grabs a dinner roll from his bread plate and whips back under the table.

"Was that your penis?" his date asks, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.

Embarrassed, he can only nod and the color rises in his cheeks.

"That was amazing," she said, "Can it do it again?"

He shrugged, "Probably, but I don't know if my asshole can take another roll."

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I'm going to use this joke IRL at some point and probably botch the delivery

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not as if we are against "censoring" people based on their politics, the accusation is that they defederated from hexbear for obviously political reasons while claiming to be free speech platforms for everyone

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Hexbear never is, never has, never claimed to be, and never will be a free speech platform nineteeneightyfour

if that offends you, I’ll help you pack bridget-pride-stay-mad

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Waow

(Basedbasedbasedbasedbasedbased)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We should all post dickpicks because uh ummm 🤤 uh

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yes mx volcel police officer this comment right here

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unrelated but it's always funny to see a call-out post with the little "oh but please don't be mean to them!" People online send death threats if you look at them weird, you know what you're doing

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

i-think-that please be mean to me actually, it’s funnier

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

i-spil-my-jice

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

imagine messaging the moderator of a weirdass shitposting forum, which has an entire account dedicated to a bit about civility, and ending with "thanks in advance" like they're going to respect you or do it now because you used the polite corpo-speak. It's like saying "your associate is being quite rough" while getting jumped.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

thanks in advance

I didn't notice they ended it like that, holy shit. The absolute entitlement of liberals miyazaki-laugh

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

mao-clap

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There was a great purge? And I missed it?! angry-hex

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

you haven't missed it. it never ends stalin-feels-good

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lol. Lmao even.

Lemmee user if you're reading this, post your hog.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm comfortable posting full cokc and balls but I get the feeling this is all a ruse and I'll get banned for posting my hog...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Don't. Its not fun if you're into it.

volcel-police

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

this is a hentai-free website

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"How dare someone tell me to post hog out."

The average Hexbear user:

spoiler

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I love how they come here starting shit...

Yes, some of my comments are done with the aim of making hexbear look bad. (source)

And then go and whine about it! lmayo

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Funniest bit was when we got a dude to post his hog. It wasn't that bad of a dick, really, but we still poked fun. Cuz fuck him, that's why.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wonder what that user's penis looks like...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I don’t.

Everyone who disagrees with me has a gross penis, everyone who agrees with me has a nice cock. Its that simple.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

the admin doesn't want to talk to me after I've been concern trolling for a straight week and said my purpose posting is to make Hexbear look bad boohoo

this nerd was and continues to be particularly odious, I want nothing to do with you and am not obligated to hear you out stalin-joking

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Also love how this mf thinks we're suppressing dissent because we're trying to keep our users from seeing the truth, like their politics are so good it'll convince this site to abandon communism no-choice

As the facilitator of the purge, let me tell you this: at least half of purged users (i'm pretty sure at least 60-something) were either users of [email protected]/[email protected] or were directly talking shit about this site by name, sometimes where they think we couldn't hear it. These chucklefucks do not deserve our time gulag

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wish I could believe you, but this guy who said he's on a mission from God to destroy communism and receives checks from the US government says you're not to be trusted.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

ooooooooooooooh I’ve been owned. I’m turning my antifa card to my CPC handler, in disgrace cri

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

zenz Everything's coming up Zenz!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Every time.