this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
439 points (97.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12211 readers
749 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Time magazine: "we don't know how yet, but we're gonna find a way to link the rise of fascism and avocado toast"

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 122 points 11 months ago (4 children)

The article is largely good quality but what even is this:

“We couldn’t destroy the Taliban, but office work destroyed the Taliban,” said one Tiktoker, reviewing articles and quotes from the report.

It doesn't even name the person. Just cherry picked some random quip from social media and pasted it into the body.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I've been hating this since Twitter became a thing. I used to read BBC news articles for (seemingly) good quality reporting, and then they started quoting random twitter users. Like, who gives a fuck?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Hell, there are even news articles only quoting Tweets.

And TV shows only re-streaming viral YT videos. I imagine these people just watch YT the whole day and call it work.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Living the dream, if you ask me. Just don't mix it with serious news. "New political coalition formed! Twitter user rear_beads commented: 'lol'"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It always seemed strange to me as well. Who is this person, and why should I value their opinion?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even worse when a "news" article is just embedding a bunch of Tweets from random people and calling it news.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

Editor: The article is great! All we need now is a quote from social media and we can publish.

Journalist: We haven't been able to find anything suitable, everyone thinks this story is satire.

Editor: Then just post one yourself and then quote that! But don't reference your name, that'll be a dead giveaway.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Hard to cite a GPT reference.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

For me at least, "said" has a link to https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7mbL8g/

That link only takes me to the front page, but perhaps if someone has a tiktok account that goes to a video (a tik? Tok? Whatever it's called).

[–] [email protected] 83 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah, winning was easy, young man, governing's harder

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

This is like that comic today with the Viking. "History is written by the winners" he has to literally sit down with quill and parchment....

[–] [email protected] 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like they need a good union.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Hahahahhaha OMG. Yeah once the whole pew pew part of the insurrection is over and you actually take over the government, the whole running the government part isn't as fun now ain't it?

What a bunch of idiots.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The weird thing is that they used to be in power, before the 9/11 American "freedom spreading" spree in the region.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nah, those guys were boomers/gen-xers and have probably either all died off or retired from this nonsense. The Taliban in charge now are millennials/zoomers who likely grew up getting told all about the glory days but not the drudgery.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

And who probably skipped school since those were all gender integrated under the NA government the US was backing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (8 children)

And they were in power because the US helped them get there. This article praising Osama bin Ladenisn't The Independent's finest hour 😬

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (7 children)

It does go to show that people sometimes don’t think ahead. They seem to have only ever considered the present and now reality hit them in the face lol. Similar happened to Trump when he was elected and suddenly had to…you know…work.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Wow, maybe the taliban really will be defeated by capitalism

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Which is deeply ironic considering how they founded themselves as a rebellion against the "false gods" of capitalism communism and democracy.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (2 children)

As a person fed up with office culture, I'm wondering if it's now my time to destroy my government.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

If your government is the US one, the answer is a resounding yes.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

If you're in the US, doing that would save tens of millions of lives, both in the US and across the world.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Bold to assume what comes next would be better

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Okay say what you will about the Taliban but this article is really interesting in a way.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Reminds me of this wise quote from Walter Sobchek:

"Say what you will about the tenets of national socialism, but at least it's an ethos!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’m finishing my coffee.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The Taliban need to unionize

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

True covalence is the basis of a mutually-fulfilling relationship.

If every one of your relationships is either you giving up an electron or stripping it off some poor cation who then has to stick to you until you give it back, it’s easy to think that bonding is a zero-sum game, and that dominance is the only way to lead.

So yeah, Taliban definitely needs to unionize.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

Phenomenal cosmic power! Itty bitty living space...

Everyone gets what they asked for.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

FFS, they figured it out so much faster than America.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

It's amazing how fast you can arrive at the right conclusion when you don't have a bunch of billionaires with media and politicians in their pockets 🤷

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I remember seeing this same article like 2 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I mean, it's not like you should expect much from the magazine that ran this cover on purpose:

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

When’s that from, 87? Back then people were just learning about this stereotype.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Breaking news Taliban discovers music and alcohol.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Greg Daniels absolutely needs to do an Afghani adaptation of The Office. It would absolutely kill and be like my fave series of all time. This whole situation is beyond absurd and mundane and also insanely great c/LeopardsAteMyFace fodder

How amazing would it be if office culture/politics was the thing (particularly "Western thing") that eventually compelled the Taliban to throw in the towel and start doing something productive + peace

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who would you cast as the Jim and the Dwight? I'm thinking Hasan Minhaj and Romesh Ranganathan.

One's Indian and the other's Sri Lankan, but it's close enough for Hollywood/BBC, amirite? 😛

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Time for a company fun day

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Maybe even a pizza party if they reach the quota!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I hope the afghan people raise up against their oppressors and fight back.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (5 children)

The largest military in the world occupied their country and gave them billions in equipment to keep it and they let the taliban retake everything in weeks. I don't think there is going to be any better opportunity then that. It's obvious that the fighting population already made their choice, and now everyone just has to enjoy it.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They did, they wanted this.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

That’s like saying that we wanted Trump. He didn’t win the popular vote; we didn’t want him but he was there anyway.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Alternate headline: Slow News Day in Afghanistan

load more comments
view more: next ›