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submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

I am, in fact, not a real bear.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Umm, that’s what a real bear would say…

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I am five totally harmless raccoons wearing a bearskin rug. It's fine.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I don't really have one but I feel like I should. I'll work on this and get back to you.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

"I'm killing my roommate, brb"

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The only reason people consider me so generous and giving is because I overcompensate due to looking at myself, seeing a vast abyss of selfish egomaniacal narcissism, and being too vain to accept people seeing me that way as well.

This is also the root cause for the insane amounts of self loathing I deal with.

So there ya go.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

are you trying to start a "we all have secrets" thread in lemmy "anonymously"

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I'll let you figure that one out

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I am a level 15 lawful-evil bureaucrat.

If it is possible at all to fill and file a form correctly, I will do so efficiently, without error, and with misplaced joy. Even if it's longer than my thesis. This is automatic and no dice roll is required. The receiving organization has to make a willpower check else approve the form without reading it in it's entirety.

Once per tax reporting period as defined by my company license (unless my company license is updated to change my legal address, in that case, the longer of the two possibilities), I can pass any standardized exam, on any topic, without study, or even knowledge of the language it's written in.

Additionally, twice a day (holidays excluded, except labor day, and Saturdays only before noon), I can rubber stamp any form using only the power of my mind and a rubber stamp.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I chuckle at people who can't understand the short story hidden in my Lemmy mugshot.

[-] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago

I dunno why it got downvoted

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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
4 points (55.9% liked)

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