this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
520 points (93.9% liked)

Programmer Humor

19623 readers
507 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (7 children)

can we ban web developers who call themselves "developers"?

also php programmers who call themselves anything?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nah, no need for this kind of gatekeeping. Anyone who deals with js and its billions of frameworks on a daily basis deserves to be called a developer.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Agreed.

We also deserve to be called, every so often, to see how we're doing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Heyyy its your super duper new project manager! I hope you are feeling a-mazing because you are my a-ce on the team. Anyways i need you to do things twice as fast, because we are running low on budget after sales promised another feature without extra billing and the CEO already signed off on it. Please make this happen somehow. If this project isn't succesfull i'll get fired and have to sell the house. But no pressure!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Do you even know why you hate PHP?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Note that that hasn't existed in PHP for years.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Blame MySQL for that. The PHP API just mirrors the MySQL C API of the same name. https://dev.mysql.com/doc/c-api/8.0/en/mysql-real-escape-string.html

Modern PHP doesn't use it - any modern code uses PDO with prepared statements.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Never used it in over 23 years of using PHP. Also, I don't thing that has existed anymore for the past 10 years or so?

Seriously, if we're going to do this, can we also bitch about painful java apps from 10 years ago, or the hilariously shitty modules in node from 10 years ago? I can go on for a while, but you hopefully get the point.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The question was why do I hate it, and it was because of this. I don't understand your confusion.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

My confusion is that you hate it tosay because someone over a decade ago wrote 10 times the same complaint that was mostly fixed already since about a decade ago

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (2 children)

yeah, i've used it and it's absolutely trash...
but here's an article that sums up my feelings: https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That article is over a decade old. A lot of these issues aren't relevant any more or have been fixed. Some weren't even PHP issues, for example mysql_real_escape_string is a MySQL API (https://dev.mysql.com/doc/c-api/8.0/en/mysql-real-escape-string.html).

PHP isn't the best language, but it's not as bad as some people claim it to be, especially if you use a good framework like Laravel.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That is literally a decade old article with basically 1 complaint that sometimes functions are strpos() and sometimes str_len(). Anything else it's saying is "I don't even know how to say it". Really now? Any of your complaints have been fixed since about a decade ago, so why don't you give it a try?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

lol, no...
also this is a joke sub so stop trying to sea lion me about it.
also your "summation" of the article is pretty stupid

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm a full-stack web developer and am involved all the way through including cloud infrastructure, API development, database creation/maintenance, test automation, architecture etc.

I guess what makes a "developer" in your context different? Embedded? Kernel?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Only those who code in the same language as I am can be called developers. Everyone else is just an impostor and their technology doesn't matter! Real programmers use my language of choice

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

If you don't daily x86 assembly, do you even know anything about computers?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Have you heard about our lord and savior Rust? 🙏

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Just like my $variables I can be anything I want. Deal with it! 🫳🎤

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

As if webapps aren’t usurping mobile and desktop apps, anything not C# or .NET is a toy language?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

c# and .net? ewww....

gimme c, c++, go, rust, ruby, python...
and umm, no dude, native apps are a lot more powerful than web apps... they are not usurped at all

there's more of them, but there's more scooters than motorcycles...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Scooters are more efficient, get you where you need to go and cost less to maintain. Your analogy is actually pretty good in that regard.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So if I'm using Rust to write a web app that compiles to WebAsm, what am I?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

To be fair, we do develop stuff. Nothing implies quality, so it’s not like we’re misrepresenting anything. Personally, anyone who calls themselves a software engineer and works with any web-related technology (PHP, JavaScript, etc) are the ones to be shunned.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

sorry, my browser doesn't support unicode