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if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
I appologise (un-ironically)
I admit I am still a little debatebro brained, and I did not realize this was the trans specific comm when I first posted, If this is not a space for disagreement, I apologize for inserting my opinion into it.
I do not support intentional or malicious use of bro/guys to misgender, And if anyone in particular were to ask me to stop referring to them as such, I would (and do) try my best to do so.
My goal was to start a productive discussion about the conflict between the take you posted and linguistic descriptivism, which I tend to align myself with and believe is a popular opinion in these circles. I feel justified to discuss this issue as I identify with groups that use bro and dude as a gender neutral form of address, and hence I feel justified to defend myself. once again, if this is not the space for that I apologize, and will remove myself from the discussion, however If anyone would like to have a productive discussion on the topic I am open to changing or refining my opinion.
I also used a poor tone for my goal, and to communicate my dissatisfaction in the response i received, reedit snark is a hard thing to get out of your system.
edit: forgot how formatting worked, broke up brick of text into pieces
Disagreement may be fine (idk, I don't make the rules), but if you repeat the same arguments people have heard a million times from transphobes trying to excuse transphobic behavior in a trans meme community that's an place for trans people to get away from such, doesn't be surprised if you are treated as a nuisance and potentially banned. If someone doesn't want to be called a cunt, buddy, dude, etc then don't. Does not matter how you use the words with other people. Its not like people are suggesting we ban people from life for saying dude once.
Really? I thought approaching the dude/bro/buddy issue from a linguistic perscriptivism vs descriptivism perspective was at least a somewhat novel approach, and worth bringing up for discussion if anyone felt comfortable doing so with me.
When I started posting, I thought this was in a general comm, If i was aware I was inserting my opinion in a comm I am guest in as a non-trans person, I would have brought it up more delicately or considered saving it for a general comm. I appologise again if starting this kind of discussion is not welcome here, and if anyone wants me to shut up about it, I will.
I wholesale agree with you on this, as I said in the comment you replied to, I do not support intentional or malicious use of bro/guys to misgender, And if anyone in particular were to ask me to stop referring to them as such, I would (and do) try my best to do so. I am not and would never argue in favor of ignoring people's direct wishes on what they want to referred to as.
After my discussions with users in other threads from this comment, I think my personal conclusion is that while from some perspectives the "dude is gender neutral" approach may have legs, the people who use it are usually doing so as an excuse to directly dismiss people's wishes about what they want to be referred to, at best to cling to "being right" and at worst to invalidate people's gender identity or validity as a person, which is cringe.
I personally have met transphobes that will make this argument so they don't have to out themselves as transphobic in groups that might not accept them going mask off about it. I'm not saying you're doing it, but it feels kinda similar to when transphobes go out of their way to use they/them pronouns for people when they're talking to someone who is very obviously presenting in specific gendered ways. are they and them generally gender neutral? yeah, obviously but there's certain contexts where it's totally not the best way to talk to/about people.