this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2024
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I approve of angry goats harassing police and suggest the addition of angry geese
Nah. Geese aren't mean enough. Get swans involved. Those fuckers will fight anything and are gigantic. Saw a swan drown a Canada goose for absolutely no reason once. It was brutal.
Seconded! The swan is the national bird of Denmark. Officially something about a voting process 40years ago on TV. But unofficially we were just really scared of the bird and tried appeasing it.
Did you know that a swan can break your arm?
Lmao you gotta appease the swans, because to them, violence was never an option.
I don't doubt that a swan can fuck you up big time.
Ostrich?
Cassowary!
I used to row (in the UK) and agree. Swans are fucking terrifying and give zero fucks. I accidentally hit one with my oar once. I’ve been marked ever since. 👀
My grandmother's only negative story about the war, in which both her school and home were destroyed by bombers, was about the fucking swans she had to deal with in the countryside after being evacuated.
This is the birth of a supervillain who trains birds to attack people in police uniforms.
I would use crows. There are many cases showing crows hold grudges, have facial recognition, and will teach other crows. It's perfect. Plus they may bring gifts and trinkets
Crows are based.
So ...we wear a blank face mask hoping they focus in the uniform and them systematically harass/adjust m abuse crows in a police uniform and hope they take the hint?
Doesn't seem feasible without also getting slammed for impersonating the po-po, sadly...
I love the idea, just you go first
I was thinking more we befriend the crows and anyone they see as a threat they would attack because they will protect their food source. I would prefer not to harass them.
Like that story about the lady who befriended the local crows but then they started attacking everyone that came near her house. Then the neighbors started to feed them too and the crows ended up looking out for the neighborhood.
I would imagine if every neighborhood did this then the crows would see the cops as a threat to be harassed, especially if the cops threaten the people that feed them. Probably not as great as comrade goat but hey, I think crows could make good allies lol
https://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2021/02/portland-womans-viral-story-of-accidentally-creating-a-loyal-army-of-crows-is-sweet-but-is-it-true.html
That's amazing that they're flexible about it - I'd not credited them with nearly enough intelligence!
Comrade Crow, vol. 1: An Attempted Murder
This would be a super hero’s arch. A supervillain would be a cop doing this to attack minorities and the disabled.
Villain originally meant "villager". Look at the superheroes we've got - they overwhelmingly work with the police.
I say villain in this context to mean a criminal, an opponent of the status quo. Like the good guys from The Boys.
Can we get the orcas after these bastards too?
They're busy planning their attacks on yachts. But seriously, how come wild animals are doing more to fight the power? We're being out-based by fuckin orcas and goats.
Everyone wants the goosestep until the goose comes for you.