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Are you just yelling out random fallacies until you find one that comes close to describing my argument?

come on, i said one fallacy. the no true scotsman fallacy, which is often used to deflect from bad behavior in Christian communities. there is no "misusing" Christianity. the things that Christians are and do is what Christianity is. the fact that corporal punishment, restrictive gender roles, misogyny, homophobia, and bigotry are more prevalent in Christian subcultures is observable, and it is linked to the belief system these people follow. the harm being done by Christians to marginalized people is ongoing. the opportunity to "heal" is precluded by the fresh wounds being made at the direction of Christian lawmakers.

asking people to set aside their anger at the present and growing danger that christian nationalism poses to their lives and livelihoods is telling marginalized people that their pain doesn't matter, or at least, that the way they respond to that harm is incorrect.

I’m telling them that hatred will not heal their wounds and in fact make them worse

the wounds are getting worse, healing or not. Christian subcultures continue to pursue right-wing agendas at the expense of marginalized people, and i think its justifiable that the people being targeted by that kind of abuse would be angry at the belief system that legitimizes and supports that kind of harm.

in any case, Christians often make appeals to "forgiveness", both internally towards abusers within their communities and externally towards people who express criticisms of the faith, but forgiveness is only a virtue to other Christians. people are not obligated to forgive those who have wronged them, especially if they haven't stopped. not forgiving isn't a sin, its a choice, and in some scenarios its the best choice a person can make. this appeal to forgiveness as a moral good is itself one of the many problems with the Christian worldview. its not uncommon for patriarchal figures in Christian cultures who abuse vulnerable people to expect forgiveness from their community, or demand it from their victims.

I know because I used to blame the existence of religion for all that was wrong in the world, but then I grew up and realized it’s not so simple.

it isn't so simple, yes, but deflecting blame away from the institution itself and to the individual people living in it is no better. Christianity, and religion, is not all that is wrong in the world, but it is some of it, especially if you aren't a straight white man. the fact that you aren't very willing to allow Christianity as a concept to be tied to the behaviors of the people who worship it, and the way you seem certain that despising people who have demonstrated over and over again that they are wiling to hurt you for their god is wrong, kinda gives me Christian vibes, even if you say you aren't one yourself.