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Would someone please help me understand when using "they" as a catch-all pronoun is transphobic? (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

There are definitely people who use "they" about trans people as a way to be transphobic without seeming as hostile as if they were more explicitly misgendering them.

If done non-maliciously, and you're not singling out just trans or gender non-conforming people, most people won't mind, but it's definitely better to use their preferred ones if you know, just so people don't think you're doing that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

I will be making a greater effort in the future

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

If you know somebody's pronouns, using these pronouns and nothing else isn't "better", it's the only correct option.