this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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People who light up candles: π
Birthdays don't exist. That's a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.
..you guys don't use long stick lighters to light birthday candles, so as to not burn yourself when lighting 30 of those sumbitches?
Nah, I just use my Spaceballs The Flame Thrower, the kids love that one.
No. πΏ
Rechargeable electric lighter, baybee!
Edit: Also 2 pack of 0-9 reusable cake toppers
Really want a big cake now
Iβm sorry but youβve been fooled. Itβs not big cake, itβs actually big candle. Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy while they destroyed peoples lives from the shadows. Tell everyone.
I didnβt kill myself.
..where are you getting invisible cakes? π€
Of course you didn't!
Falling out of the window was an accident.
Big if true
Candles are actually bad for your home air and so are open wood fires, despite their romantic image. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jan/09/too-many-smelly-candles-heres-how-scents-impact-the-air-quality-in-your-home