this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
582 points (92.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27253 readers
1765 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Me personally? I've become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women's expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I've matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I've come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of 'humor' really is, and I regret it deeply.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Used to use the word 'retarded' to describe people doing dumb things. Then I realized that not only was it hurtful to people with Down Syndrome - it was inaccurate ... as a person with Down Syndrome would not do the things I was attributing to the phrase.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't go around using that word because of how many people find it disrespectful. But, and I ask this out of honest curiousity, why is it offensive in the first place?

I see it as synonymous with 'idiot' or 'stupid' when used colloquially. The argument that it's a medical term doesn't really hold as 'idiot' and 'moron' are also medical terms that refer to a lacking of intellectual acuity. In many ways 'retarded' has the same meaning both colloquially and medically. To be mentally retarded is to be mentally slowed or lacking that similar mental acuity that 'idiot' or 'moron' convey.

Retarded just means slow and it's a perfectly apt description. Where I think people get confused is when retardation is linked with a specific attribute like physical retardation or emotional retardation, those convey very different meanings.

I'm not saying that we should start using it again, but that I find it odd how society has latched onto a very specific word and labelled it as bad in the matter of a decade. At the end of the day, any word that can be used to insult or demean, is rude. It's not the word being used, it's what is meant by them. The term 'Cis-gender ' is also being used in a highly exclusionary way and often times is conveyed as an insult. However, it's real meaning is not insulting in the least.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I agree that the issue is ahem idiotic. I just avoid using it now because I don't like to offend people generally. But people should also have thicker skin. Jesus

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That one's still unfortunately commonplace. The term isn't used in professional circles anymore because it now just means "stupid."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea, I'll correct anyone who says it. People may not love it, but there needs to be people calling out other people for shit. A little different direction, but still similar, is men calling out other men for sexist shit. Sexist men often don't listen to women, but the moment their buddy says something they start to think.

You may lose a few friends doing this, but the people you probably want to be hanging out with will respect you more for it. I find people appreciate being willing to call them out, it takes guts. It takes a real man to call out sexist little boys, and also those who still use the outdated term "retarded" to call someone stupid.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I feel like 'retard' is insensitive to use in current times, but it will have a similar progression to the word idiot. Idiot used to be a medical term, and when used as an insult, I'm sure it was hurtful to the people diagnosed as an idiot by a doctor. Nowadays it is considered pretty tame. I am curious to see if 20 or 30 years from now the word still has the same hurtful connotation to it.

It is also a term used in physics. To retard as a verb means to slow. I feel like it can still be used respectfully in an academic sense.

As far as calling people out for using words in a hurtful way, I am all for it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Fire retardant, for example.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I have ADHD so I call my self retarded at work all the time when I fuck up (blue-collar job so that kinda shit Flys there more than at a white-collar job) It kinda helps me not feel insecure. I know people think that of me so by calling my self that constantly it doesn't get to me as much

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 year ago

On the bright side, it was replaced with the much more fun Darwin award winner/finalist.