this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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The Onion

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King Charles has spoken out following the release of court documents that confirmed Prince Andrew went to sex-trafficker Jeffery Epstein’s private island, with the King strongly condemning Meghan Markle for not stopping Prince Andrew from visiting the island.

“I understand that the news has today has hurt the reputation of my family for many,” said the King, “and that is why I am extremely disappointed in the actions of my daughter-in-law in not stopping this from ever occurring. When will her attacks on this family end?”

“Poor Prince Andrew, if you could see him now you would be devastated. Ever since he read in the news the documents would be released, he suddenly got over his inability to sweat.”

“We offered to get him an adult masseuse and he just burst into tears screaming ‘I miss Jeff’. The damage that Markle has done to this family, it’s just tragic.”

Following the announcement, royal correspondents at tabloids around the world have gone all in to focus all their coverage on a leak from a source within the palace talking about an incident wherein Meghan Markle allegedly didn’t say ‘bless you’ after someone sneezed.

link: https://chaser.com.au/world/royal-family-condemns-meghan-markles-failure-to-stop-prince-andrew-visiting-epsteins-island/

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Ever heard of Sir Jimmy Savile, British national treasure, close friend of then Prince Charles, serial child rapist, and necrophile? Here he is telling a fun little anecdote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM_RlWkE52w

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Here's a picture of him apparently wearing one of their eyes:

https://i.imgur.com/H6dZS4S.jpg

Received a knighthood from the queen and from the pope.

Bonus, an article on the late queen's brother:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Mountbatten,_1st_Earl_Mountbatten_of_Burma#Sexuality_and_child_abuse_allegations

See also:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kincora_Boys'_Home

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Thank you for compiling these links. I’ll believe you on the eyeball thing, I don’t need anymore nightmare fuel.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

They made a drama series about Savile called The reckoning, starring Steve Coogan. Coogan says it's the only time he has asked to not do a particular scene, when he had to film the necrophilia scene, it was way too disturbing even for him to act out

Savile would also take souvenirs from the morgue. Glass eyes, teeth, etc.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

poor Alan Alda looks like he is pained having to endure that