You might be completely incompatible with federation. I mean this with zero ill intention, it just might not be the alternative YOU are looking for. Reddit and lemmy are separate projects with separate goals and means. Centralization is what led to the issues leading to people exodusing from Reddit, but now everyone is upset that it's not centralized here. If you want one single set of users crammed into one single set of communities, this just isn't it by design.

As somebody who likes sharing my opinion and bickering about them, I've run afoul of power mods on Reddit in the past and been blanket banned from like 8 subs at once for liking firehouse subs over subway or some such nonsense. Here, if I'm banned from [email protected] I can still fiddle around on [email protected]. I can spin up my own instance and start [email protected] if I want.

It's important to remember that this is NOT REDDIT. This is a different project with different goals and different methods of achieving those goals. IIRC there are people trying to build a more 1 for 1 replacement for Reddit, and if that's what you want - great! Find one and enjoy it, but don't try to force lemmy to centralize and just become Reddit 2, because that's not the goal or intention of the project.