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How to introduce 5 year old niece to new things without 3 year old nephew feeling left out? (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've got a niece (5) and nephew (3). The niece is really good about finding ways to entertain herself and the nephew will always try and take it for himself and intrude, usually not in a compromising sort of way. Obviously, this is pretty typical kid behavior overall.

She's reaching the age where she can learn more complicated games and ideas, which sounds really fun to introduce her to. If he's around, I feel like it will certainly cause a meltdown, and he's too young to reasonably participate anyway.

As an older sibling myself. I think it's also unfair to hold her back until he can participate too. Some would say it's unfair to do it until he can as well. I would argue that it's actually unfair to introduce 5 year old games to her when she is 7 and he's 5 and can join too. She's being punished imo unnecessarily and being held back. Why does she have to wait till 7 while he gets it at 5?

Is the only solution to try and schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities? Am I being biased as an older sibling myself in feeling that I would be holding back until he's at the same capability? Just curious for feedback. Thanks

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities

This is exactly what I do with my kids. Each of them gets a scheduled block of "choice time" with me to do whatever they like. When one kid's time it up I say, "Thanks for playing with me, but it's time to give X their choice time" and promptly move to the next kid. The quickly learn that they will get a turn, and they don't like their own turn being interrupted, so they respect each other's time blocks. I haven't found another method that works well, at least in our family.

It's important that you set expectations in advance and be consistent. If you run too long with one kid and give less time to the next kid they will immediately recognize the unfairness.