this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (10 children)

Can any Americans confirm or refute whether US schools actually punish you for getting beaten up regardless of whether you tried to defend yourself? It sounds way too stupid to be true yet I hear about it again and again.

Also what the hell happened to Stand Your Ground that the US is so infamous for? That doesn't apply to children who are victims of assault and battery?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

One of the most common types of bullying in the US is the use of zero tolerance anti bullying rules as a mechanism for bullying.

Example: kid A punches kid B. Then immediately kid A reports kid B for bullying him because kid A knows how the bullying rules work (because they are a bully). Then kid B gets in trouble for getting bullied.

Typically kid A's parents will enthusiastically back then too because their kid "gets bullied all the time" while kid Bs parents aren't experienced with the policies and aren't positive that their kid didn't do something wrong (because they are normal parents), so they don't fight it too hard and just want it to go away.

Ask any teacher in the US and they will tell you that they see this all the time and most every kid that supposedly "gets bullied all the time" is doing exactly this.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If the teachers see it then why do they get away with it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Teachers aren't in charge of school policies and generally aren't even decision makers past the lowest levels of discipline.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago

This is also why you call 911 first, NO MATTER WHAT. First caller wins.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

In some situations, unfortunately yes. Some schools will take the stupid "zero tolerance" stance so broadly. I do remember a few times growing up that the bullied kid would still get suspended(if they were lucky, at reduced length vs the bully, if enough evidence was available).

Often times (as should be) you're better off fighting back cuz both are gonna get in trouble.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

Yes. I got 3 days in alternative school for getting punched because "I was in a fight". The next time I made it worth it and fought back instead of just trying to avoid being hit.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Yep, I pretty quickly learned I should just respond in kind as I'd get punished either way. Generally more severe punishments when it was one sided as well...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yep! I knew a kid who was punched in the BACK OF THE HEAD without any warning. Same suspension length as the kid who punched

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Twin. Prairies.

They used to beat him up a lot. He was smaller and shyer. And they'd wait until I was out of sight so they could get a few licks in before I could run up to them and kick the bully in the fucking kidneys; whatever. Then it was on.

Those are my spare body parts you're pummeling.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes its real, it's called zero tollerance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

And zero tolerance is zero thought :-(

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Yep, got suspended once for thrusting my rolling back pack at a kids face. He then punched and knocked a lense out of my glasses.

In 11th grade i snapped at one of my bullies and just went white with rage. Next thing I know I'm on top of him choking him. I got board suspended for a week for that. Fuck the US school system.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

My schools had a zero tolerance policy for anyone involved in a fight for any reason. I saw a few kids suspended for clearly defending themselves. My father gave me regular talks to let me know that so long as the other person attacked first he'd fully support me defending myself however I needed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

One time in middle school a kid who had been messing with me jumped me on the way out the gates at the end of the day. Neither of us was seriously hurt, but both of us were taken to the office and suspended. When I told them he had attacked me, they responded with "Yes but what did you do to de-escalate the situation?" And it's like, motherfucker my introduction to the situation was a foot in the back!

That was one of the first times even my parents, who I had struggled with as well, took my side against some school bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“Yes but what did you do to de-escalate the situation?”

Reading this and all these other comments I wonder if at least part of it is just petty bullshit by the school administration, like "How dare the two of you create more work for us at our jobs for which we have licenses! You both need to be punished for that!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Children are abused left and right in this country. Our schools are dogshit. You're lucky if your public school provides a decent education, because its almost certainly not going to provide anything else.