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I need this
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this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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Yeah -- I am not a good person.
My first thought was "use a sniper rifle to shoot the cat. Then take the key off its cold, dead corpse"
A can of tuna was all you needed you monster.
But now i get to keep the tuna, and I get an extra meal.
I'd imagine part of the deal is "don't harm my cat".
(grin) If the story doesn't mention it then I assume it's not a part of the deal.
At best you're going to be stuck with someone that's pissed you killed her cat. Even if she sticks to the deal she's going to make your life miserable. And if she is the cat ...
If you can't charm her: tranquilizer dart gun. Then a romantic getaway at your hidden base that's also an active volcano. Apologize for your crude methods, but justify them. Point out how horrible those other men were, in fact how horrible humanity is as a whole. "We're not so different, you and I", etc.
Wine and dine her while you explain your plan for world domination. You want the hot shapeshifter on your side -- don't screw it up.
I think enough people are dumb enough to not think that one through and so the challenge as posed is a bad idea on her part
This is the best resolution to the story so far.
I mean, if she is the cat, and you kill the cat and take the key in order to marry the woman, then you will be marrying the corpse of the woman you just killed. Seems like it might be a bit of a plot point that you don't kill the woman (or do, but that's a very different film.)
At the point you are taking the key, you don't know the woman is the cat.
You'll note I didn't say it was a good plan.
Ah well fair, it is a plan.
Which maybe says a lot about you because the point of the story is something that a lot of people have known for centuries: Men who know how to treat a cat and earn its affection, are more likely to have success with women, if they apply the same delicate empathetic approach.
So, how are you doing in the woman-romance area?
I've been with the same woman for twenty five years and we are very happy together.
Thank you for asking.
How's her cat?
Ran off to the happy happy farm
That's an incredibly personal question, don't you think?
Pfft bullshit, I slow blink and say pspspspspsps at women all the time and they usually just say "the fuck is wrong with you?"
It really is, and borderline hilarious.
If it's evil, but it works... well ig it's still evil ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yes, what is right and what is easy are rarely the same.
Albus Dumbledore enters the chat
Yeah, what a way to get a woman to want to marry you, kill her pet (/her).
That works really well with the story too.