this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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United States | News & Politics
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I need a truck for agricultural purposes, but don't want to purchase a ToddlerKiller4000. Short of inventing a time machine and traveling back to an era of car-sized rather than tank-sized pickups, my options are pretty slim. Fuck me, right?
My whole family were farmers and one of my cousins jacked his truck up so much it could only pull one of his wagons...
People still give him shit, even tho it was like 20 years ago.
Point being, the stupid shit you see isn't even practical. The only point of giant modern trucks is helping men with low self esteem. And it doesn't even help them, it just makes them keep wanting an even bigger truck than everyone else.
Which is why they've been consistently getting bigger for decades.
It's hilarious if you ever off-road.
They're really shit off tarmac driving anything through anything more advanced than a field. Too long wheel base, far too wide, shit turning cycle, too long nose, not enough weight on the rear wheels when not fully loaded.
You can run rings around them on an off-road track in a Suzuki Jimny or even a 50 year old Lada.
But obviously don't tell the truck people that. These are cars that are sold on the idea of being able to drive off into the wilderness at a moment's notice. Pointing out that's a lie, that they just spent too much money that if anything offers them less freedom than a conventional car, often results in an emotional reaction.
I love my Subaru forester. It is nice enough inside to drive 4 people comfortably but with the back seats down and a tarp spread out I can carry a good sized load of mulch, bales, etc. I was even able to cram an 8 ft ladder into it with the passenger seat pushed forward and the ladder laid out diagonally. I've even slept in it. It has enough clearance that I can drive it on really rough forest roads to trailheads. I'm a big guy and it is much more comfortable for me to get into vs something like a Civic. My dad liked it a lot because with his very weak legs he could easily sit in it and swing his legs in and out. He liked it so much he even bought one.
If I ever need a truck I'll save myself thousands of bucks by just renting one for those rare times. I've done it at Lowe's and it was a no brainer.
I suspect that is the selling point behind the majority of Jeeps with winches you see on the road that probably have never left pavement.
I own an '01 3/4 ton suburban for boat and camper hauling. It's small compared to a stock 1/2 ton today. The top of their beds is almost at my roofline. All that size increase comes with very little gain besides dick measuring it seems. I will never understand why people buy them, especially for 60k+.
Fortunately, those 12% APR loans they use to buy them are bankrupting them. I have to view this as an exercise in social darwinism.
When I had to buy a new car a guy at work who was big into cars asked me what I was getting and gave me grief for not getting a big truck. I asked him why I would want such an impractical and expensive truck for just myself (and I lived in an apartment) and he only gave me macho signaling answers.
I guess in other climates it's different, but over here people get vans for that. Can I interest you in the concept of "what if your pickup truck had a roof and also wasn't grotesquely oversized?"
Although, I'm looking at this year's Renault Trafic and that front is actually starting to get concerning, tbh.
Plenty of agricultural stuff you don't want to share a roof with. And you want a hard bed that you can hose off.
The Trafic in particular has a separated cabin and the floor of that thing is pretty much one layer of sheet metal between the wheels. You're good on both counts.
It does smell... eh... agricultural inside one of those after a while, of course. It's kinda nostalgic for me at this point.
For the really nasty stuff people here just get a trolley to hook up to a jeep or a tractor and a bit of patience. Or, you know, sealed containers. Trust me, people do haul a lot of smelly stuff and I haven't seen anybody who owns an open bed pickup truck in my life. I know more people who moved stuff around with oxen than with pickup trucks. It works.
Wouldn't be able to pick up chem in it, and you're welcome to throw a dead, half-eaten calf in your van, but I'd rather throw it in my truck bed and hose the contents of the intestines out later.
Like I said, for the really nasty, loose stuff people would just throw an open bed trolley in the back of a different vehicle and do it that way.
I don't know what you carry, but I'm pretty sure you can do both of those things in a van if you have to. At most you may want to put a tarp underneath first. And you can hose it later. Again, I don't think Americans are picturing what the back of a work van looks like or how it gets used. If you fully open the back and side doors at once you actually get direct access to more of the floor than you do in a pickup bed.
Ya, I don't get why people get bogged down with the van thing. It's some hollier than thou stuff. And I love my van.
The problem with modern pickups is that they are too huge and used too often as commuter vehicles. And a v8 van would have the same issues. The pickup design is still better suited for a lot of things.
It's not holier than thou, I literally have never seen a pickup truck in my life outside of the times I've been in North America for work. I'm just trying to explain why.
But then I just read the words "A v8 van", so I don't think that I'm gonna bridge this particular cultural divide here.
And I'm thinking, all things being equal, putting a metal roof over my cargo area would just add weight anyway. I guess it's not built for towing like my 1-ton is, so maybe that's a weight savings, but it's also not built for towing which would make it unusable for most farmwork.
We have tractors for that.
What I'm starting to realize is that despite Americans seemingly being car-first in so many facets the entire narrative around the humongous cars seems to be to have a one-size-fits-all car that is supposed to do everything. Wanna carry manure? Pickup truck. Wanna carry kids to school? Pickup truck. Seemingly want to drag a plow? Pickup truck.
A person with what we'd call a "farm", or at least a person in a rural area who has animals and plants vegetables in a field (I also think the concept of "farm" is different) would instead have different, cheaper vehicles for all of those. A small tractor head, or a big tractor if you have a lot of land and it's worth the money, then a van, then a small car, then Jeep or a Range Rover if you need to go offroad and tow a lot.
Do Americans in rural areas just have a different pickup for each person working there instead? That seems insane.
I was honestly not thinking this conversation would reveal one of the biggest challenges to visualize the logic of a different culture I've had this week.
Sure but you could do that with a regular-sized truck too.
This particular thread started with op saying they wanted a small truck. A lot of people out here are fighting ghosts with strong car shape superiority complexes.
I have a minivan currently and they're so practical for the average American. Hauling stuff? Put the seats down, and your "bed" is longer than almost any pickup's, plus it's protected from the elements. Hauling people? Seats go up, and it will fit seven people. Even though you sit high up the grill is angled downward, meaning better visibility AND in a crash will throw the victim over the car rather than under (way better likelihood for survival). They also tend to get decent mileage compared to trucks. Hell they even make for a great camping vehicle: no tent needed, just throw a sleeping pad in the back with the seats down and call it a night. It's such a shame that they were branded as soccer mom vehicles, because a lot of folks buying trucks for their "practicality" would be better served with a minivan.
However! They are not good for: carrying loose gravel/soil/mulch/manure, transporting livestock, traveling on 4WD roads and other rough terrain, hauling a trailer, or moving stuff that's tall but cannot be tipped on its side. The carrying/hauling capacity is really low, the ground clearance minimal, and the carpet-like interior gets dirty really easily. These are not tasks that the average customer is going to undertake often, and I've creatively worked around many of these limitations in the past for one-off instances, but it's definitely not an everyday-use farm vehicle.
A work van is not a minivan.
Refer to the video I posted above. The first comment mentioning those things seemed a bit confusing at first, but I'm starting to think maybe Americans don't have a notion of what a work van looks like? That's... a thing I learned today.
I know what a work van is, but I only have minimal experience with them so instead I critiqued my extensive experience with minivans vs pickups. A work van could address some, but not all, of the issues I outlined. The bigger issue is that it's still a MUCH larger vehicle than I want or need. I'd rather a small pickup and a detachable trailer for when I've especially large jobs to handle. I'd even consider importing a kei truck if they were A) road legal and B) available in automatic.
Ah, gotcha. I was confused because whenever the point of pickups comes up people keep bringing up having to use them for work, and in my mind that's what vans are for. I've been taken to school in a van before, but that's not the point of them.
I think over here people would instead get a hatchback and a van if they had to do both things. That'd probably cost the same amount of money and be more practical. And you'd have two cars by the end of it.
Oh, and there definitely are work vans sized like minivans. That's the entire point of the Kangoo, as far as I can tell. It's basically a minivan you can choose to get with or without seats.
EDIT: Oh, hey, apparently you CAN buy a Kangoo with a closed cabin, too. I said earlier that you couldn't.
Japanese mini trucks are outstanding for true agricultural purposes. You have options for dump beds and completely removable (or flip-down) bed sides for super easy side loading. They’re cheap and super economical.
Crash safety is the biggest drawback, so true road-worthiness is iffy (depending on how much the cops in your area care about that sort of thing). But if you’re looking for utility on private property, these things rule.
As mentioned in another comment, I would totally consider importing a kei truck except they're not street legal in the US and AFAIK they're not available in automatic.
Toyota pickups are also extremely popular with militias and small militaries who slap a heavy machine gun or AA gun on the bed.
https://jalopnik.com/this-is-how-sudanese-militants-get-their-hands-on-so-ma-1842818238
Yeah from what i could tell theres literally no small or mid size options currently
Based on what I've seen, the Ford Maverick is still pretty mid sized relative to the rest. The Hyundai Santa Cruz is pretty small, but might not be practical if you're actually hauling stuff on the regular, as it's more like a car+truck hybrid
Relative to the rest is the keyword there. I think the maverick is marketed as a midsize, but its significantly larger than older midsizes.
So disappointed in the new ranger. It's not a damn ranger.
I had a 98 ranger for farm work. The new ranger is as big as the old F150.
Ya, for sure, I just saw a 90s f150 in the parking lot. I think the new ranger is actually bigger.
Hilux?
Toyota makes way too much money off of the Tacoma is why specifically. The Hilux would undermine that market by being significantly cheaper. People are willing to pay ridiculous amounts, even for used Tacomas.
Oh that sucks, we can't buy the Tacoma in UK but thank fuck because it has a larger footprint than my driveway
Buy a used Nissan Frontier?
I wonder if a Holden Ute is available in LHD