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It's insane to me that this apparently must be said by multiple people with massive emphasis. We only considered this because our relationship was and still is so strong. We just met really young and have a lot of love to give. I don't want to lose my wife or have had only one great romance in my life. She didn't want marrying a woman to mean she would never experience men again. So we share the incredible bounty of love in which we live.
My general rules in a polyamorous relationship. Well guidelines as rules are so just off putting. But as long as it's consensual equitable and pleasurable for all involved, it's ok.
I'm a bit older than my wife, but your point rings true - we also met fairly young, and went through some stuff. That's probably a meaningful part of how and why we are who we are.
Meeting my wife fairly young meant that I got the raw, unfiltered version of her feelings and was able to compare/contrast that with my behavior - and improve it. That led to trust allowing discussion of involving others, and an understanding that neither of us is going anywhere / associated trust.