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this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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BecomeMe
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You aren't obliged to tell anyone anything. If you care about identity politics, that's a different issue. You're either attracted to someone or not and there's no label that can be put on a person in question unless they insist on having one.
I already tried not having the language to describe my gender. It sucked. Nobody understood me. I've tried what you propose, and I was miserable with it. Why don't you respect that evidence?
Have you tried not hanging around people who don't understand "I'm not attracted to you"?
That's not the problem. I had the word asexual back before I met another swarmgender person. And if I want to meet a second swarmgender person, it'd go a lot faster having the language to say what I want.
What's "swarmgender"?
Yeah I looked that up online and the only results are:
This post
Chaos from Hades
Pokémon with the Swarm ability and genders.
"swarmgender" gets me one result on ddg, on google i get three and they're all this same guy
The concept is kinda out there for me personally, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with calling a person "it," but its pronouns are right there. I don't really see a reason to deny its gender expression. Who are we to say "no, that's not how you view yourself?"
I just dont know what the word means.
I'm not a guy. How can you know my gender and still misgender me?
I found a post on Lemmy from 3 months ago where someone said “As a swarmgender person, mind-melding is how I have sex. And I don’t want to fuck you, so I’m not going to let you into my head. “
Socially and historically, the male and female genders are defined by their place within a traditional family structure, as "the strong one", and "the nurturing one". This isn't a description of biology, it's a description of social roles. Swarmgender people are also socially defined by roles within a family structure. Except for us, that structure is an scifi-insect-like hivemind. It's not biology, but it is a social role, and social roles don't have to make sense.
I guess that makes sense, is there like a "queen" and "workers" or something? I guess i dont know much about insect social structures, i might be thinking anout bees specifically.
Real bees don't have a sci-fi style hivemind, they communicate through dance and they're a democracy. A more accurate term for the queen would be "mum". Her job is to make babies, she doesn't get to make any big decisions.
So it's more like a shared consciousness among many bodies? (My only exposure to the concept of sci-fi style hivemind is starcraft zerg faction.)
Yeah, exactly like the Zerg. They gave me feelings when I was a kid that I didn't understand until I grew up.
As someone for whom social roles do need to make sense (not in a phobic way I just have that sort of autism) I don't get it
I don't think anyone can get a gender they haven't lived as. You know how many standup routines men have made about the mysterious creature known as the woman? If men find women baffling after a lifetime being around them, how can anyone expect men or women to understanding drones?