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this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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We should lift all requirements to legally change your gender to male
I think people should get rid of notion of gender altogether.
What I mean can be summed up with firefighter requirements, everyone should have same physical requirements, it's not sexist to expect a firefighter to be capable of brute force because noone gives a fuck about your weak hands, the house is burning and someone is stuck inside and you cannot just smash open the window because backdraft will kill them and the only way in is to break in fast through another way that's harder than smashing a window which requires you to remain calm, efficient and most importantly physically strong. If there's a woman that can do this then she can do this, I don't care, but like 99% definitely not and they don't deserve standards to be lowered for them because fire doesn't care about your feelings.
But I guess exceptions can be made, I mean, sports aren't a job where lives are involved, women can do it separately if they want to.
I think people should think of gender as a spectrum, but what would 'getting rid of gender' look like? Are we seperating that from biological sex somehow? Although I am all for men getting asked if they are pregnant as often as I am when trying to access basic health services.
edit: also just read the firefighter analogy more. Okay but why are you reducing firefighting to physical strength? I've heard of cases where fitting through tight spaces were key to a rescue in firefighting. Does that mean I should now reduce firefighting to 'fits through tight spaces' requirement and prefer only small people? Be less reductive in your reasoning.
I have a real hard time with gender and sex because it just seems really weird to me to say "doing this action is feminine." I thought that the whole progressive movement from the 60s through the early 2000s was about getting rid of the idea that "men do this and women do that." Everything I do is, by definition, manly, when I, a man, do it.
Gender isn't just a legal or professional rule, it's also a personal experience. How am I supposed to tell people that I'm only attracted to swarmgender people because I'm gay if we get rid of gender? I'm not attracted to agender people, I wouldn't be able to have sex anymore if we made everyone agender.
You aren't obliged to tell anyone anything. If you care about identity politics, that's a different issue. You're either attracted to someone or not and there's no label that can be put on a person in question unless they insist on having one.
I already tried not having the language to describe my gender. It sucked. Nobody understood me. I've tried what you propose, and I was miserable with it. Why don't you respect that evidence?
Have you tried not hanging around people who don't understand "I'm not attracted to you"?
That's not the problem. I had the word asexual back before I met another swarmgender person. And if I want to meet a second swarmgender person, it'd go a lot faster having the language to say what I want.
What's "swarmgender"?
Yeah I looked that up online and the only results are:
This post
Chaos from Hades
Pokémon with the Swarm ability and genders.
"swarmgender" gets me one result on ddg, on google i get three and they're all this same guy
The concept is kinda out there for me personally, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with calling a person "it," but its pronouns are right there. I don't really see a reason to deny its gender expression. Who are we to say "no, that's not how you view yourself?"
I just dont know what the word means.
I'm not a guy. How can you know my gender and still misgender me?
I found a post on Lemmy from 3 months ago where someone said “As a swarmgender person, mind-melding is how I have sex. And I don’t want to fuck you, so I’m not going to let you into my head. “
Socially and historically, the male and female genders are defined by their place within a traditional family structure, as "the strong one", and "the nurturing one". This isn't a description of biology, it's a description of social roles. Swarmgender people are also socially defined by roles within a family structure. Except for us, that structure is an scifi-insect-like hivemind. It's not biology, but it is a social role, and social roles don't have to make sense.
I guess that makes sense, is there like a "queen" and "workers" or something? I guess i dont know much about insect social structures, i might be thinking anout bees specifically.
Real bees don't have a sci-fi style hivemind, they communicate through dance and they're a democracy. A more accurate term for the queen would be "mum". Her job is to make babies, she doesn't get to make any big decisions.
So it's more like a shared consciousness among many bodies? (My only exposure to the concept of sci-fi style hivemind is starcraft zerg faction.)
Yeah, exactly like the Zerg. They gave me feelings when I was a kid that I didn't understand until I grew up.
As someone for whom social roles do need to make sense (not in a phobic way I just have that sort of autism) I don't get it
I don't think anyone can get a gender they haven't lived as. You know how many standup routines men have made about the mysterious creature known as the woman? If men find women baffling after a lifetime being around them, how can anyone expect men or women to understanding drones?