Bay Area

Unironically, thanks for the reminder of the life I don't want to slip into.

I chose a computer science degree because I've been a programmer from a young age. I haven't felt a divine calling towards a profession, just my natural interest and talent (the latter of which does qualify as a gift from God,) and the knowledge that whatever work my hands find to do, I can do it to the glory of God in some way.

I never saw a verse in the Bible say you need a divine calling before you choose your profession. God calls people sometimes, but sometimes people mistake their own feelings for God, which I guess can happen if you haven't heard God. The way I learned to recognize Him speaking to me started with discerning whether the message lines up with the Bible and whether it's something I want to ignore because it's inconvenient or hard.

I'm sorry you went through what you did. I can't say with certainty that being a biblical scholar wasn't actually a divine calling, but if you couldn't tell the difference between that and the "call" to engineering, there's a good chance that you got it from being swept up in a moment at church or some retreat.