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How do I tell someone that a mutual friend is trans without dead naming them? (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Context: I am visiting a high school friend. Another friend who we both knew in high school has posted some interesting things recently. This friend has changed their name, but the friend I am visiting is not following them and is not aware of their transition.

How do I bring up this friend without dead naming them?

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

When this person comes up in conversation just say something like "oh, I dunno if you heard, but {dead name} transitioned; {he/she/they/etc} go by {chosen name} and use {pronouns}"

That is not a harmful use of their dead name; it's informative and prevents the use of their dead name in the future, since all conversation from that point on will use their chosen name.

(Obviously don't do this if someone is not out publicly, or there are safety concerns)