this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was pressured by my partner to have children. I had said from the outset of the relationship that I didn't want kids. That was all fine, for the first year-18 months, Then things started to change.

how that played out?

We did not have children, we are no longer together.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But were they also not in concrete agreement when you said that you didn't want kids? Or did they only give a vague response? Just curious what was the initial agreement exactly, and how did they changed their stance, because I'm currently on the market myself and I've been pretty upfront that I don't want kids, and it's usually my very first question before I proceed to even ask them about anything else. Those who don't want kids are also generally upfront about it and would agree immediately, whereas others may either give a vague reply or be on the fence, or straight up say they wanted kids - all of which would be an immediate rejection from me. Unless they're in firm agreement, I don't proceed any further with the chat.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I mentioned on our first or second date that I did not want kids. They were not as strong in stating it but I received no push back. So I assumed they were ok with it.

In the end they revealed that they thought that I would eventually grow up and want kids.

That relationship ended about 12 years ago.

Since then I have been more like yourself. I make sure early on that any possible partner knows that this is something that will not change.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Oh this one is funny

If i have an opinion at my 30+years, i definitely won't grow up to change it