this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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I cannot express how deeply this cuts. After taking stims for the first time at 36, I felt like I finally woke up. For the first time ever I felt as though I was present and capable of carrying through with basic tasks.
Not to say I was entirely helpless. I was (and still am) a senior developer with a highly successful track record. But the difference in mental energy to complete even the simplest of life's tasks was monumental.
I've been told ad nauseum in highschool "you have so much potential, you just need to concentrate/try harder", when I was trying to give 110% every single day.