this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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Off My Chest

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RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


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So I stopped generally using Reddit after the whole API thing but my husband still does and we talk about stuff since Lemmy gets the job done.

One thing he likes is to hop on r/freecompliments and participate there.

Well, today he got permanently banned. Why? Because a bot dredged his profile and found that he sometimes participates in porn subreddits. Usually to complement people there, never posting himself. He's pretty ace, so it's rarely, if ever, sexual. But that was enough for the bot to ban him.

They sent a message about how they are sfw subreddit and don't allow users to participate in NSFW subreddits.

He's heartbroken about it. He really likes to be nice to people and it makes his day when they respond to him. Now he can't do that in a sub that's meant for it.

I feel like the site rules have opinions about banning like this, but it's not like the admins give a fuck. So fuck those mods and their puritanical bullshit making at least once persons day worse, for the low cost of a user that was participating in good faith.

And since I'm on a roll, fuck spez

I tried posting this to trueoffmychest to dredge some sympathy for him, since that seemed appropriate and he was good with it, but they don't allow 'anger' or 'impersonal' posts and that got quietly removed immediately. So fuck them too. I didn't realize how far down the shitter reddit has gone.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When can we welcome your husband here?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Probably not soon. He's slow to adopt replacements and I don't think Lemmy has the mass yet to hold him. But I'm letting him know that some people here care and who knows, maybe he'll make the jump. What's a good apple Lemmy app?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Thanks. I use Android so I get lost on Apple anything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Same! I just saw that both Thunder and Liftoff are available for IOS, so I’d personally recommend those two. Hopefully they'll help your husband to join us soon and without issues lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I've been using Voyager for Android and was pleased to see it was available for iOS as well, so now my gf's been onboarded to lemmy too!

Tell him we say hi, and we have cat pictures ready.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was on Reddit a lot and I've found it a great replacement. The shit I miss, I didn't really need in my life anyway. It only took a couple of day to not check it all. My only suggestion is that he knows about the different front pages for each instance and changing between subscribed, all, hot, and 12 hour. I don't know any Apple apps but I'm sure you'll get others to answer that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Besides.... it's become astonishingly rare for me to really argue in discussion threads. Used to happen to me all the time...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I use Memmy, it's simple and easy. It reminds me of a barebones Apollo. Sorry to hear your hubby got banned, that's super lame.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In all honesty, your husband and I seem pretty similar. In all honesty, there are some wonderful interactions that make my day, but there are still so many negative ones that hurt to read just because you can tell that they're choosing to get upset and pick fights

If he can, he might honestly be better off without either until Lemmy decides its "culture" more

Edit: or stick to the instances with more welcoming cultures, but that limits a large portion of Lemmy as a whole