this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Thank you for being so civil and understanding, I appreciate it.
And I know that is not fair to my friends and family - I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult (as is common with women because we’re not “typically” hyper like boys when we’re young). As a result, I didn’t know what this was and I often got told by others how disrespectful it was to always be late. I took that seriously and tried to fix the problem - extra alarms/reminders, every physical and electronic calendar/alert thing I could find. I would write dates and times on my hand because I knew I was guaranteed to see it (but showers screw that up if I don’t remember to add it when I get out; I keep a pen and a sticky pad in the barhroom).
None of it works; my mom and SO collaborate and told me things were 30 mins earlier than their actual time so that I wouldn’t be late.
The best I could figure for events that day is that I consistently underestimate how long it will take me to get ready - ADHD also means you have to spend an equal amount of time searching for items you planned to wear/bring because they’re never where you thought they would be…ever.
The other thing for “day of” is *overestimating” how much time exactly 5 mins, 10 mins, etc actually takes to pass, so I always think I have more time than I actually do. It’s weird and frustrating & has cost me a lot of money in just late doctor appointment fees alone over the years.
I don’t know what else I can do at this point - my brain just doesn’t have the capability to keep time straight like other people do. It impacts my work life, social life, relationship life, family life, school life, etc. Is that a bill I need to pay? Yep. Is it due now? Nope…boom it goes into the abyss of “stuff in the future/not now”. It can be debilitating sometimes; luckily my partner is neurotypical and takes care of a lot of it for me. If they weren’t around, I would have to get some sort of personal assistant just for personal life duties. And that’s embarrassing to admit because I’m well into adulthood and have a “good” job with a lot of responsibilities. That’s why I typically never mention it at work.