this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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Oh god, I feel bad for that guy. Like, also the rest of you, but a chatty six person office that bans headphones if you donβt like smalltalk? Torture.
As someone who has ADHD AND is an introvert with social anxiety, that office is my idea of hell! Definitely wouldn't last a month, maybe not even a week.
Sounds like you're like me then: a personable introvert.
I'm good at faking being a social butterfly when I have to as well and generally treat people kindly and considerately but yeah, it really IS draining to deal with people for long periods of time and I tend to avoid it when I can do so without stepping on anyone's toes..
See, that's the main thing that differentiates introverts. A lot of introverts trend to being quiet and unsocial, but it's because they've learned that it's exhausting. Then there's the lot of us who, for whatever reason, have been forced to push through and do it anyway.
Being social is a skill you have to develop, and since we've had to put in more work, we can be pretty good at it. When I'm in a social situation I can turn it on. My defense mechanism when I'm feeling uncomfortable is to shut my brain off and let that social muscle memory take over and I become super charming. Or I have to take over a meeting because I'm the only one who actually understands the topic and can communicate it. I can do it, and I'm good at it. But as soon as it's over I can feel my brain deflate. Sometimes it uses all my spoons and I know immediately that I'm not going to get anything else done the rest of the day because an early surprise meeting showed up on my calendar.
I'm that guy. The phone next to me is ringing SUPER LOUD nonstop, ear hurting loud. Sometimes he has two phones and while talking they call him again. There's people on the front talking about work, but talking. People at the back talking too. People come to talk to coworkers next to me..... It's hell, I'm lucky my sector doesn't have work shortage so I'm just going to leave.
Now, they told me that I can use headphones when I said I'm leaving, but.... yeah no, this kind of things have to be though beforehand, not given as the carrot so I don't leave. Think about accomodating workers, not appeasing them when they complain ffs.
Same situation for me - only my desk mate plays accuradio over speakers like weβre in a fucking gym. I can barely keep focused on anything