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My generally open minded historically liberal friend called me the other day.
He moved to a very conservative area a few years ago, and the other night in a phone call he was saying "I'd feel far safer being a liberal at a Trump rally than wearing a Trump hat at a BLM antifa rally".
It is very much perceived on the right that the left is a violent mob waiting to burn down your neighborhood at the smallest slight. While the right is a bunch of friendly Sunday school help thy neighbor types.
I tend to lean towards this is all bot farm propaganda trolling, and that only a very small percentage of either side are actually bad people I would want to avoid.
The problem is, this is how people are getting their information now days, and the idea that "Oh that's just people on the internet" is no longer valid. Social media and algorithmic rage bait driven content are having a very real impact on the "real" world.
Since he is an old friend, I was able to get him to pause for a breath in this talking point fueled screed he was on, and point out "Dude, I just want the same simple things you do, abortion access, religion out of schools and politics, reasonable gun ownership, healthy air/food/water, a strong national defense, etc".
When one of the first arguments you bring up is the "violance" of drag people reading books to kids, well shit, I just don't think we're having the same conversation.
So in the discussion of red states vs blue states, the 'both sides' examples are:
Trump, a member of the republican party (Red) who rose to presidency as the republican candidate, still has many followers and is part of the republican mainstream
BLM antifa, fringe movements which have no official part in the democratic party (Blue) and have never held any political power