this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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How do you ask for help? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

I feel like I give help easily but I don't feel ok asking. How do you become ok with asking for help? I have no idea what conversations that include this even sound like. In my mind I come across as begging and losing connection with the person or people I ask. How can I think about this differently?

Edit: a little more context, although this applies generally I think. I recently got surgery. I have enough help at home to get by, but it would be nice I suppose if a friend wanted to help out in some way too while I recover. I'm not exactly sure what kind of help that would entail, maybe cleaning or cooking or even just visiting. But I struggle with asking for help in even "normal" circumstances, like moving, or a major project, or even just emotional support.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I have so many instances in my past of help coming with strings, or being massively let down, or just being slammed with other people's incompetence that it makes me physically uncomfortable. All of this stems from and reinforces the idea that I have to be responsible because everyone else around me is being messy and useless.

This puts into words how I've been feeling my whole life... this nagging feeling that I could never articulate. Thank you.