This is an admin post, intended for blahaj lemmy users. Top level posts from members of other instances will be removed.
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Edit - Hexbear announced plans to deferedate from us.
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~~After recent events, it feels to me that sentiment has shifted and more people are asking for defederation of hexbear than previously~~
~~I've been doing my best to try and mend bridges and keep us connected, as it's my hope that we can maintain trans solidarity and work with them, despite the friction, however, ultimately, I feel that this is an issue for the blahaj lemmy community to decide, not the admins alone~~
~~So here's what we're going to do~~
~~We're going to leave things as they are for a week. That will give time for things to calm down whilst we see if we can work together. After a week, I'll put up a vote and get a feel for where the community is at in regards to our continued federation with hexbear. That poll will run for a week. If there is a strong will to defederate (a clear majority), then that's what we will do~~
It was inevitable after their atrocious behavior. It sounds horrible to be caught in such a crossfire as an instance admin. Especially because they used their queerness as a weapon to paint us as the bad ones for splitting the community. A painful reminder that not all queer people are necessarily good people.
Thank you for dealing with this situation and making this instance a safer place.
Straight up, who you choose to associate with says a lot about a person
I've known plenty of people in my life who turned out to be shitty people who I stopped associating with due to them being shitty people.
Hell one of my former friends was pan and non-binary. I stopped associating with them due to various personal and political reasons but the straw that broke the camel's back was them insisting that, "being bi was transphobic," a few months after they came out to me as non-binary. (I had come out as bi almost a year before they came out to me as non-binary.)
I was friends with them for 6 years, yeah it hurt at first but the bliss that came from stopping to associate with them was nice.
Being able to cut shitty people out of your life is something more people need to find the strength to do.