Fuck this shit.

Nobody here much, so I'm just speaking my mind without a care.

Fucking fuck.

Ordered a used copy of zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Been a while since I read it, and it should be on the shelf. That's about my only real connection to Buddhism.

Fuck this hurts. If I don't kick this I'll die and I gotta take care of my people.

Have a son, despite my failings, he's a really awesome person. Have a wife that's way better than me. She's a white buffalo. I don't know why they love me like they do.

One hour at a time. Leaning in to the pain. Just another day in hell. Pain is normal.

Sweating it out. Worry about reasons later.