this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy theory site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’ (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 14 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
133 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars' library of footage. Maybe they could "keep" Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef's last episode.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

The “shitter’s full” third I hope.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

I hope they own Jones' likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Train an AI model to produce new shows with him as the host

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago

This just in! I’m turning my frickin’ self gay! I’m selling the supplements that will get you there too! The deep state wants to control us! NO MORE! You’re not gonna get my frickin’ dna to fight in your wars! You’re not gonna push us around!

eats handful of supplements

These Pro-homoerotics are literally the best on the market. I just now took them and I already want to tear my clothes off and throw the cameraman on this table!

Help support InfoWars and fight the deep state! I can’t do this without you guys and now I want to do you guys!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago

One of the few good uses for generative AI I've seen.