this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
729 points (96.4% liked)

tumblr

3404 readers
451 users here now

Welcome to /c/tumblr, a place for all your tumblr screenshots and news.

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Must be tumblr related. This one is kind of a given.

  4. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.

  5. No unnecessary negativity. Just because you don't like a thing doesn't mean that you need to spend the entire comment section complaining about said thing. Just downvote and move on.


Sister Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I thought like this when I was 15.

Then in my twenties looking back at how I acted when I was a teen I thought "I was really dumb as a kid, I wish I had more supervision from a responsible adult."

Now in my thirties looking back at how I acted when I was in my twenties I think "I was really dumb as a kid, I wish I had more supervision from a responsible adult."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Kids today deserve the option to delete everything about the from the Internet at some point in their 20s. No one needs video evidence of that phase.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

My bro has a rule: no public photos of his kids, ever. Shared to family, privately, only.

They're just not old enough to sign away their privacy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

No photos should be the default until they turn twenty. It's too easy to fuck up or be taken advantage of.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

being dumb and worthy of respect are not mutually exclusive.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Supervision doesn't have to be patronizing or demeaning. A 15 year-old isn't dumb anymore, merely ignorant and impulsive which does tend to make them shitheads but that's kind of a separate problem.

Most adults are shockingly bad at understanding and explaining their own thoughts and rationales, including to other adults. So when interacting with a teenager, they either throw their hands up or fall back on "shut up and do as I say" as one would with a 5 year-old.

That's where teens can be failed really badly by the adults around them because they are at an age where unlike children they are mostly/fully equipped to understand "adult" advice, and will not blindly follow orders anymore. But they also need way more advice, guidance and explanation than an actual adult. I think that's where the post is getting at. Don't forget that teens are kids, but don't treat them like they are subhuman or lacking in agency.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

they are mostly/fully equipped to understand "adult" advice, and will not blindly follow orders anymore

That's why they can't sign for bank loans until much later?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Understanding something at the level needed for a conversation is one thing, having the capacity or experience to really understand the significance of the thing and use that deeper understanding reliably for decision making is something more, and does take longer to develop.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Sounds all well and good until you don't have any responsible adults around you

I'm in my late 20, I was failed as a child and teen. Not because I had too much freedom, but because the adults did not treat me with respect, like a person, and were not responsible. I mean, my parents were straight up abusive, but it's not like anyone else helped

I would have unironically been better off alone

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I was dumb, frustrated, angry, inexperienced, foolish, and worst of all, I was often right. I was dealing with some pretty heavy shit as a 15 year old. I had just started seriously questioning my gender. I was struggling with mental illness that was starting to cripple me because I didn’t know how to cope and couldn’t explain it well enough. My grades were slipping from those two things. Oh and I was starting to realize my parents didn’t love or like each other as my family began crumbling. And as a young millennial it was starting to become apparent I was about to inherit a world that wasn’t doing so great.

And at the same time I was a fucking moron. I couldn’t express what was wrong and if you’d asked me any of those things I’d’ve probably denied most of them. I straight up did deny the first two, knowingly lying on a psychiatric exam.

I needed the room to try and fail. But I also needed to be shown that what I was going through wasn’t what life was supposed to be like. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self the words to express her needs, to slap her into studying (and slip her some Wellbutrin), and to reassure her that the lessons she’s learning from her parents’ marriage will provide her with equal measures of understanding necessary for her own happy marriage and fuel for therapy.

And yeah I try to apply those lessons to the teenagers I know

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Maybe then I can find a responsible adult to look after me?