Trans

750 readers

10 users here now

General trans community.

Rules:

Follow all blahaj.zone rules
All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.

Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on

founded 9 months ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

How do you know when you're actually passing? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

35 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I socially transitioned before I started hormones, and when I went out in public wearing women's clothes, people would look at me frequently, and some people would stare at me. It was obvious I didn't pass from these kinds of responses, but I also got somewhat used to that treatment.

Over time, with hormone therapy, I get fewer and fewer instances of this. I haven't been stared at in a long time, and I think people look at me less.

At one point I would describe my experience as being a "woman shaped object" - in people's peripheral vision I looked like a normal woman, but if someone interacted with me they could tell I was trans.

I went out yesterday and got my nails done, went shopping, went out for dinner, etc. and interactions with people made me think they couldn't tell I was trans, but I just don't know whether they can actually tell or not.

While waiting in line to buy some clothes, a woman wanted to chat about how long the line was taking, and she interacted with me as though I were a normal woman - there wasn't a hint of stigma, curiosity, etc.

Anyway - this just makes me wonder: what are others' experiences with passing and not-passing, what are little clues that you aren't passing or when you are?

I assume you just can't actually tell when people are being polite vs not knowing, but maybe there are little hints.

Thanks!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

While waiting in line to buy some clothes, a woman wanted to chat about how long the line was taking, and she interacted with me as though I were a normal woman - there wasn’t a hint of stigma, curiosity, etc.

That's great! <3 I'm not out so not much to add, other than I hope to reach the same stage one day

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I wish I would pass to myself 😭 I felt so dysphoric yesterday, I just can't believe anyone would not see me as trans - but I also don't know how to explain their behavior.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Yeah it definitely sounds like you're passing, at least mostly!

I also suffer from dysphoria so often, and feel I'm not passing when I do. Our brains are trained on the previous data of our faces on bodies as they were prior to transition and can still nitpick bits and pieces of what we used to look like that was masculine. Our brains mean well but... It can be hard to forget.

On the plus side it sounds like people see you and know you're a woman, at least most of the time if not all :) 💜