this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
599 points (97.5% liked)

Funny

6879 readers
879 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean yea we want to stop erosion, but also going in a straight line is efficient. It's all you can afford. You are in a dead sprint, forgetting the gash on your head. Down, down, down hill you go- it gets steeper but you try to use gravity to your advantage. You can't let him catch you. You need to get to your car as soon as possible. What you and Sam saw back there was too much, and you both need to get as far away as possible. You are almost leaping with every sprint, but then you hit a patch of loose gravel and slip backwards, hitting your head on the ground. You feel dazed as you curl up grabbing the back of your skull. More blood comes out onto your hands, you know you are concussed but you also know the only way for survival is forward. You get back up and move as fast as you can. You look for Sam but in the confusion you lost him. You look around but the California landscape goes for miles, and you know this is where people disappear. You see far below is a stream, and all streams go down hill. You keep up the pace until you come to the waters lapping up to the pebbles around. You start moving down the flow of the stream as it gets larger. As you run, you see him- "SAM" you call out. He's sitting on a log looking up, but he doesn't turn around. You run up to him, the striped shirt you gave him is torn up. "Sam?" That's when you know that somehow you've been outmanoeuvred.

A pike was holding the body of Sam up on the log, as if he was a lawn ornament. You best friend who you saved twice in Kuwait sat there, upright, but the life was long gone. You promised his mother you would keep him safe, but now you failed in what was supposed to be a small day hike.

Suddenly you see a flash of metal from the side of your eyes. Your concussion plus the sun makes it so hard to see, but you finally make out the figure who put you two through all this. Suddenly you vomit as you stumble to get away, but you become dizzy and splash into the shallows of the river. You try to get out when suddenly a hand grabs you by the hair and pulls you up.

There he is. Bloodied hands and all. You never thought you would be here. You never thought you would die by his hand. You never thought it would be today. You never thought it would be

Shia LaBeouf

But at the end of the day we want to minimize the impact of human activity in protected areas. Having switchbacks for stable roads helps avoid unnecessary maintenance that could be even more disruptive. Civil engineering is important!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

peak fiction. I hope I'm going to get labeoufed more often.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Please say it ain't a copypasta 😂

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Honestly I got really high one night and had just seen the Shia LaBeouf song, so I decided to write my own fanfiction but sneaking it into random comments on Lemmy, and then I just kinda kept doing it. So no copy, but this is OC pasta.

I'm gonna coin the term "getting LaBeouf'ed"

You just got LaBeouf'ed.