The Onion

“As the proud owner of a Cybertruck picture that I took last week, I couldn’t be more excited for Elon’s planetary dominance,” said David Kelenic. “This man has literally done no wrong, if you don’t count the COVID misinformation, right-wing conspiracy theory amplification, antisemitism, and his atrocious appearance on Saturday Night Live. Can’t we just give the man a break? He’s just trying his best as a billionaire, who could easily solve world hunger but chooses to purchase dying social media platforms instead.”