this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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AskReddit (lemmy.today)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Image description:

screenshot of r/AskReddit post by u/CriticalGeode . Title only. official phone app. Light mode.

How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?

Upvoted by screenshoter. No shown score.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.

You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

That's a quote from the movie Snatch

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vinny: "Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208092/characters/nm0285495

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Well, that's just painful.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I just rewatched that classic yesterday

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Though I'd suspect you do want it in the deep freezer for some period of time, it makes the whole "blood and innards" thing much less of an issue to deal with I'd think. At least for chopping and/or bagging

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So what you do NOT want to do is try to dismantle the torso. You pop the peritoneum and everything will kind of come out like a poorly wrapped burrito and you'll have a right mess on your hands.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Oh absolutely, legs, arms, and head are still full of messy stuff though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I don't think I want to hang out anymore...