Transfem

3437 readers

239 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

As a transbian, Cis women and Lesbian Spaces scare me (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I feel like I need to get this off my chest...

I started transitioning 5 years ago and at this point, I 100% pass, except for voice and a very slight beard shadow (that for some reason no one but me notices).

I feel completely scared about Lesbian spaces, and Cis women in particular. The few times I went out there (which was in the first 2 years of my transition), I've had horrible experiences.

It ranges from a few agonizing glances you get occasionally, up to outright comments about "this is a women only space btw".

I've also often noticed how cis lesbians seem to treat me differently when it comes to romantical and sexual interest. The moment it's revealed that I'm trans, things seem to shift. "Oh, I've never tried this", "oh, that's interesting, kinda", quite often there's the question about bottom surgery ("this might be a bit intimate to ask, but..."), and sometimes even outright ghosting or immediate disinterest.

I feel like this is the last, and yet hardest mountain to climb, to the point where I just feel too frustrated to even try, accepting the fact that, well... I will probably always remain a trans woman, and won't fit in to those societies that I so heavily relate to when I can keep my pseudonimity.

And yeah, T4T is a thing, it's pretty much the only thing I got going at this point...

Can anyone relate? Has anyone managed to overcome this hurdle?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

You aren't alone

Having said that I have found that spaces that not only say they support trans people, but actually demonstrate it in some way are a lot more comfortable. Also I guess the feeling has faded a bit over time, for me at least, idk why, different culture where I am now to my home country I guess